In what is being hailed as a Thanksgiving miracle, the country has finally all united behind President Trump after Kamala Harris posted a video to supporters last week. Having suffered through what many are calling the longest ten minutes of their life, rank and file Democrats rushed to order red MAGA hats to show their support for Trump. As families gathered to thank God for our country and the blessings of the year, crazy MAGA uncles and blue haired woke college students were surprised to find themselves united by a shared feeling that they would rather stick their head in a sack of honey badgers than listen to one more speech by Kamala Harris. For the first time in recorded history, everyone got along around the Thanksgiving table, the sides were all hot and delicious, and the turkey was tender, moist and plentiful. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Dad Threatens Tariffs On Anyone Touching Thermostat @drconservativeprof
Elon And Vivek Announce Santa Will Only Be Checking His List Once From Now On @kirgol
Barron Trump Surprised To Learn Other Kids Were Not Threatened With Tariffs If They Didn't Clean Their Rooms @thebigfreeze
National Debt Paid Off With Money Saved From Dropping Cases Against Trump @showquest
Trump Skips Presents Just Gives Americans Kash For Christmas @ruthiej714
Husband Forced To Read Legal Notice About Wife Being Correct @twoplus2ischicken
Sad: Kamala Spent So Much Campaign Money They Can't Afford The Riots @priehle
After Day Drinking With The Bidens, Jill Convinces Kamala To Make A Video @dontslowtheearth
As For Me And My House, We Will Serve The Lord, Other Guests Also Welcome @m4d
Democrats Admit Inflation Is So Bad, You Can't Even Buy An Election For $1.5 Billion @coachjoeconway
Report: Kamala Still Can't Do The Vulcan Salute @fishythepenguin
Bathroom Scale Flashes ‘I Don't Make The News, I Just Report It' Disclaimer Before Displaying Weight @leecory
Harris The Pessimist: The Glass Is Half Empty -- Refill It, Please @babylonandonanon
Marjorie Taylor Greene Volunteers To Replace Next Rejected Cabinet Pick @gfanson
Liberal Neighbors Stop Stealing WiFi After Family Changes Network Name To "Trump Won" @baberahamlincoln
Patriotic Turkey Regrets He Has But One Life To Lose For His Country @littlejedi
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Jesus Tells Parable Of Lost TV Remote @skullcrazes
Jeffrey Toobin Embarrassed By Kamala's Zoom Call Performance @tylermontgomery
Harris Releases Proof Of Life Video From Maui Best Western @djcarp68
Grandma Settles In To Watch Exciting Match Between The Blue Team And The White Team @trooper777
Pundits Say Real Harris Campaign Has Never Been Tried @optimus_bardlederp
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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