According to insiders, a FEMA disaster relief team left North Carolina last week to offer much needed assistance to Vice President Harris after her disastrous interview with Brett Baer on Fox News. The FEMA team had been working tirelessly to block private charities from providing assistance to those who lost everything in the flooding due to hurricane Helene, as they had not filed proper paperwork in triplicate in the appropriate zoning and planning office in the basement of the flooded courthouse in an office with a sign warning "Beware of Sharks." However, the disaster request for the Fox News interview was marked ‘TOP PRIORITY-MAJOR DISASTER-SOMEONEFIXTHISNOW' by Harris' campaign staff and could not be ignored. FEMA has written a check for $1 Billlion dollars to the Harris/Walz campaign for cleanup efforts. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Headlines are now clickable!)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Alex Baldwin Defends Tim Walz Clumsy Handling Of Shotgun @gfanson
Dems Still Hopeful As Kamala's Low Poll Numbers Only Among Living Citizens @showquest
Voting Machine Chuckles As Undecided Voter Frets Over Decision @kirgol
Uber Starts Charging $10 More To Get A Male Driver @dontslowtheearth
Lady From ‘Airplane' Offers To Help Bret Baier Interpret Kamala @webidtheefarewell
Kamala Now Voting For Trump After Bret Braier Sit Down @thebigfreeze
Wife Claims Over Feeding Husband With Fresh Cookies Has Nothing To Do With His Life Insurance Policy @drconservativeproff
Husband Dies Instantly After Wife's Cold Feet Touch His Body @twoplus2ischicken
Confronted With Plagiarism Allegations, Kamala Tries Honesty: "I've Never Seen My Book Before In My Life!" @littlejedi
Clinton Dresses Up As Gay Redneck For Halloween In Camo Harris/Walz Hat @disidente_redactico
Indian Woman Gets Mauled By A Baier @ruthiej714
NTSB Called To Site Of Disastrous Train Wreck At Harris FoxNews Interview @coachjoeconway
"Whatcha Talkin' Bout Harris?" - asks Bret Baier @annafilaxis
Jim Gaffigan Currently On Hillary Clinton's Suicide Watch @concernedleftist
Lip Reading Decoder Determines Biden Told Obama ‘Be Sure To Drink Your Ovaltine' @priehle
ABC News: Hitler Only Did Handful Of Genocides @hamnetwall55
Cat And Woman Embroiled In Turf War Over Amazon Boxes @alola_rychu
Software Update To Greta Thunburg Thermostat Now Fires A Rocket At Israel Every Time You Adjust The Temperature @fishythepenguin
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Tim Walz' Unit Glad He Ditched Them In Combat After Seeing Him Handle A Gun @smhinohio
Neighbor Puts Out Scary Harris/Walz Sign For Halloween @slayinggiants
Shoplifters Protest Closure Of Over A Thousand Walgreens @toejamfootball
Aiden Pulls Out Swear Jar ‘Water Park Fund' As Dad Rolls Out Of Bed Onto His Strategically Placed Lego Field @ruthiej714
Kamala Staffers Explain That The Camera Subtracts 30 IQ Points @sdchuck22
Kamala Complains Fox News Interview Maliciously Unedited @showquest
Kamala Unable To Attend Al Smith Dinner Because Of Crucifixes @thebigfreeze
Husband Living A Lie After Letting Wife Think The Fuzzy He Smashed Was A Big Old Spider @unclecrumpty
Not To Be Outdone By Trump, Kamala To Work At Local Philly Liquor Store @pullingyourleg
At McD's, Trump Promises To Build Working Ice Cream Machines & Taco Bell Will Pay For It @djcarp68
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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