Just as the U.S. was starting to recover from Hurricane Helene, the liberals set off another hurricane, all in a desperate attempt to stop right wing extremists at The Babylon Bee from releasing an in-depth expose of Jan 6 that upends the narrative carefully crafted by some troll bot on X, George Soros, and Liz Cheney. But that did not stop the Bee from releasing it anyway, from an underground bunker somewhere deep in the Everglades. Little did we know that this release would set off a tsunami of new subscribers burying the website under about 15ft of new headlines on the subscriber forum. Please bear with us as we are still digging out from under the chaotic mass of funny first headlines. Oh, and did you like the movie? Let us know below. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Meet The Guy Who Caused Hurricane Milton By Not Driving A Prius Or Using Paper Straws @showquest
Teen Confident Of Getting Good Raise In Allowance After Threatening To Go On Strike @kirgol
Haitians Head To Florida After Hearing It Will Be Raining Cats And Dogs @dontslowtheearth
Walz Attempts To Kill A Pheasant By Giving It Toxic Shock Syndrome With Tampon Cartridge @drconservativeprof
Kamala Accepts Interview With Matt Walshowitz @gfanson
God Takes DeSantis Directly To Heaven In A Fiery Chariot After Governing Perfectly @thebigfreeze
Study Shows Electric Car Owners Make The Worst Drivers As It Is Nearly Impossible To Operate A Vehicle While Simultaneously Patting Yourself On The Back @njhokie84
DNA Test From Tim Walz Shows Perfect Match With Inflatable AirDancers @twoplus2ischicken
Pundits Baffled Fake Black Candidate Losing Support Of Real Black Voters @priehle
Kamala Explains That Each Of Her Personalities Has A Distinct Accent @carolyn1
Sick Kid Confused After Being Told To Take Drugs And Stay Out Of School @baberahamlincoln
Climate Change Activists Glue Themselves To Florida @neohillbilly
Pelosi Rips Up Invitation To Babylon Bee J6 Movie Premiere @disidente_redactico
Fearing Another Hurricane, Appalachian Family Known As The Beverly Hillbillies Moves To Texas Gulf Coast @thewalkman
In Latest Act Of Racism, 'The Bee' Satire Site Releases Movie While Black And Brown Floridians Are Without Power To Watch @anythingelse
Woman Wonders If She Must Speed Read A Ben Shapiro Book @toomanybooks
Identity Politics: Kenyan Man Raised By Single White Woman In Hawaii Explains To Black Men In Pittsburgh Why They Should Vote For Indian Woman Raised In Canada @coachjoeconway
Harris Proclaims That Since Hurricane Milton Crossed The Border Into America Illegally, It Is Now Eligible For Medicare, $50,000 Toward A New Home, And Free Travel To Anywhere In The Country @atomik
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Studies Show People Who Laugh At Angry Liberals Live 50% Longer Than Angry Liberals @priehle
FEMA Declared A National Disaster @carlcamera
God Gives Paul A 99/100 For Writing Hebrews So Well But Forgetting To Write His Name At The Top @jerusalemjunebug
Democrats Secure Florida By Posting "Hurricane Free Zone" Signs All Around The State @leviathan
FEMA Rushes To Site Of Category 5 Disaster At 60 Minutes Studio @muskymarlin
Dad Looks In Teen's Room And Immediately Applies For FEMA Disaster Assistance @milofarmer1
Harris Breaks Out The New ‘I'm Losing Badly' Accent @smitty2028
Hezbollah Members Infighting Over Whose Mother-in-law Should Be Next Leader @ruthiej714
Democrats Name Constitution, The Supreme Court, And Everyone Running Against Them As Top Threats To Democracy @iotaknowbetter
BREAKING: Kamala Caught Using A Teleprompter During Vogue Photo Shoot @toddsbee
Democrats Warn Republicans Will Take Us All The Way Back To When Times Were Better @baberahamlincoln
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Regime Admits To Manipulating Hurricanes But Denies Ability To Manipulate Elections @calabrianpatriot
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
Big thanks to subscriber @m4d who has personally welcomed each new subscriber with helpful tips and tricks to navigate our totally not crazy headline forum!
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