After the excitement of the first Trump - Biden season, many thought the sequel would be a huge mistake. However, as season two progresses, more and more people are tuning in. Republicans have been hogging all the popcorn watching Democrats voice unapproved thoughts about President Biden…or maybe they are approved? What will the Democrats do with their chosen candidate now that the polls look bad? And just when we thought Biden and the Democrats would be dominating the show, an evil gun shot at Trump! Thank goodness his angelic security team was fully staffed to help Trump and the country dodge the bullet. Americans are unsure what the writers have in mind next as a divided Democrat Party facing a united Republican Party is an entirely new story line that no one could have predicted. But that's not all that's been happening!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Eric Swalwell In Burn Unit After Ben Shapiro Uses Flamethrower At Hearing @showquest
Democrats Finally Realize They Have Been Asking Wrong Biden To Drop Out Of Presidential Race @dontslowtheearth
Sources Confirm Biden Has Been Suffering From Jet Lag For The Past 81 Years @kirgol
BREAKING: All Nuclear Launch Codes Changed To ‘1 2 3 4 5' @gfanson
Trump Anxious To Begin Jail Term "To Demonstrate I Am The Only Candidate In This Race Who Can Complete A Sentence" @njhokie84
In What Is Apparently Not A Climate Protest, Joe, Jill, And Hunter Biden Have Glued Themselves To The Oval Office @buzzyboy
Idiot Dad Misgenders Stuffed Animals @twoplus2ischicken
AOC Reports She Tragically Died In Trump Assassination Attempt @webidtheefarewell
In Deference To Kamala's African American Heritage, Biden Throws Her Under The Back Of The Bus @slateslabrock
Biden Saves Campaign With Patented Creepy Whisper @disidente_redactico
Democrats Produce Biden's Kenyan Birth Certificate @unclecrumpty
Biden Challenges Trump To Staring Contest @priehle
Female Secret Service Agent Sues Trump For Inappropriate Touching @ruthiej714
Husband Claims To Have Dementia When Wife Asks How Her New Dress Looks @drconservativeprof
Haughty Dog Declines Walk In Rain Due To Nasty Wet Human Smell @anythingelse
Biden Campaign Forced To Resort To Tip Jar As Donations Dry Up @thebigfreeze
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Joe Biden Sends For Daniel The Prophet To Interpret The Strange Writing On The Teleprompter @1horsepony
51 Neurologists Sign Letter Saying Biden Is Fine @lawprof
Noah's Wife Frustrated With His Obsessive Need To Have Two Of Everything @abby_libby
Abraham's Faith Tested Again When Isaac Gets His Drivers License @niceguy79
In Last Ditch Effort To Get Rid Of Biden Democrats Hold Convention In Chicago @muskymarlin
Dem Ballot Filler-Outer Team Stressed They Might Have To Start Over @ponysoldier
USDA Reports Popcorn Shortages In Red States @mgbill99
After Being Shot At Rally, Trump Picks Up Ear, Miraculously Attaches It Back To Head @israel
New Feature In Whataburger App Can Now Renew Your Drivers License In Just Ten Minutes @fishythepenguin
BONUS - one randomly selected headline:
AOC Suggests Biden Go To Kansas And Visit One Of Those Brain Elevators @kanesickle
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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