After a busy week of pardoning Hunter, Biden took off for much needed R&R in Africa, leaving his new pal Trump to do all the things he's grown tired of doing, like being president and running the country. Biden reportedly hired Trump for $10/day to stop by the White House, bring in the mail, put the trash by the curb on Wednesday, feed his goldfish, and run the country. This arrangement was a direct result of the budding friendship between President Biden and the man he once called Hitler. The ice was apparently broken between the presidents when Biden FaceTimed Trump from the voting booth as he cast his vote for Trump on November 5th. Biden then pardoned himself for breaking election law and any other laws he may have broken totally by accident over the last 82 years. It is widely thought that Trump will continue helping out until January 20th as the week went well, the goldfish is happy, and world leaders have already forgotten Biden's name. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Woman Against Declawing Cats Okay With Child Mutilation @dontslowtheearth
Canada Pre-Surrenders To Trump @drconservativeprof
Chick-fil-A Adds Drive-Thru Lane Just For Homeschool Vans @twoplus2ischicken
MAGA Kid Gets Advent Calendar To Count Down Days To Trump Inauguration @showquest
Secret Service Tells Kids Santa Can't Come This Year Because Of Their Sloped Roof @baberahamlincoln
Trump Nominates Justin Trudeau As President's Errand Boy @thebigfreeze
Harris Campaign Nominated For Best Original Screenplay @gfanson
Buttegieg Partial To Fruitcakes Year Round @ruthiej714
And There Was No Room For Mary And Joseph In The Inn As The Government Had Filled It With Illegals - Netflix 2:7 @annafillaxis
Sewing Kit Identifies As Butter Cookie @lpathehuman
Texas Begs Elon To Just Buy Austin Already @tracykal
Hegseth Criticized For Having A Name That Sounds Like A Harry Potter Character @babylonandonanon
Biden Pardons Commander @coachjoeconway
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Atheist Forced To Admit God Exists And He Is Good After Michigan Defeats Ohio State @unclecrumpty
Big Pharma Reports Massive Shortage Of Red Pills @surfduck
To Boost Ratings, MSNBC To Run Yule Log Video Rest Of Year @michaeltolosa
Kamala Tells Recently Pardoned Hunter Biden, 'Don't Let Anybody Take Away Your Powder' @gringoincajoe
Hillary Asks Biden For Pardon Going Back To The 1990s @ohdear
Husband Issues Complete Pardon For Wife And Her Cooking Crimes She Has Or May Have Committed @milofarmer1
Rehab Centers Across America Replace 12 Step Program With More Efficient 1 Step Pardon @dontslowtheearth
Hospitals See Alarming Rise In Hallmark Movie Related Injuries @jstraut
Shepherd Steve Interrupts Worship Of Christ Child To Ask Joseph For WiFi Password @leecory
Wise Men End Up In Boca Chica After Mistaking Starlink Satellite Train For Star Of Bethlehem @annafillaxis
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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