After just one week of Trump tariffs the air in China is beginning to clear, the birds seem happier, and the people are breathing a sweet sigh of relief. Canceled orders have shut down the factories, achieving what Biden was unable to do: lower the world's temperature. Climate change science expert activists have been spotted wearing MAGA hats and saying they 'always liked Trump' and 'please keep sending money.' According to AOC, Chairman Xi, however, hates the fresh air and is sadly refusing to send Congress members their weekly allowance. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title Headline by @ilovelamp123)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
AOC Caught In An Infinite Loop After Reading Instructions On Shampoo Bottle @annafillaxis
Dems Assure Protesters Deported Illegal Gang Members Still On Voter Rolls For Next Election @ruthiej714
Progressive Child Fears A Tariff Is Hiding Under The Bed @drconservativeprof
New Cybertruck Long Range Model Comes With Really Long Extension Cord @twoplus2ischicken
Kamala Harris Institute For Policy And Ideas Closes After No One Can Figure Out How To Open The Front Door @dontslowtheearth
Trump Takes Credit For Reducing Factory Pollution In China @ilovelamp123
Mattel Launches Hunter Biden Doll. Underage Sex-Worker Barbie Sold Separately @carolyn1
Xi Warns Us Politicians They Will Not Receive Anymore Money Until Tariffs Are Removed @thebigfreeze
Rookie Father Let's Boys Watch The Three Stooges, Medical Bills Skyrocket @middleaged_machinist
Uh-Oh: Scientists Use Cat DNA To Revive 10,000 Year-Old Sabertooth Tiger But Now He Wants A Gogurt @alola_rychu
A Church Pew Is Not Comfortable, And Neither Is An Old Rugged Cross @clarkkent
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Local Man Asks For Prayer That Conviction To Repent Would Go Away @bombtomfill
Man Who Can't Find Milk In Fridge Pretty Sure He Could Win One Of These Survival Shows @batknight
Rookie Disciple Stoked To See What This Week Brings @acebiscuits
Tariffs Expected To Delay Chinese Invasion Of Taiwan Until At Least IPhone 18 @majorkong
Family Celebrates End Of Trade War With A Trip To Thousand Dollar Tree @trooper777
AOC Travels By Palanquin To Fight Oligarchy Rally @theethythou
New Dating App Has You Work 7 Years Only To Marry Wrong Sister @jswag
Scientists Now Breeding Miniature Dire Wolveoodles @webiator
Report: Mild Headache Probably Cancer @tylermontgomery
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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