Leftists scream, are you listening? All the polls they're petitioning, a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walking in a MAGA wonderland. Gone away is the blue man, here to stay is a new man, he's doing his dance, the libs flee to France, walking in a MAGA wonderland. In the meadow we will build a snowman, and pretend that he is Donald Trump. He'll say: Are you free here? We'll say: No man, but you can do the job when you're in town. Later on, we can diet, RFK says to try it, we'll eat unafraid the turkey we've made, walking in a MAGA wonderland. In the meadow we will build a snowman, and pretend that he's a leftist clown, we'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman, until another leftist comes around. When they scream, ain't it thrilling? Though our ears get a chilling, we'll shout our hooray, republican way, walking in a MAGA wonderland.
Every December, subscribers on the headline forum pitch new Christmas carols following a theme. This year's theme was A Merry MAGA Christmas. The above title and lyrics were posted by subscriber Sharkey Claus (@sharkey). Merry Christmas to all from the Babylon Bee subscriber Headline Forum! But that's not all that happened last week...
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Trump Reinstates Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, And The Land O' Lakes Squaw @showquest
Kid Scientist Discovers He's Getting Legos For Christmas @kirgol
Lack Of Charging Stations In The Desert Revealed As Reason For Wise Men's Late Arrival @annafillaxis
Liz Cheney Suddenly Very Interested In Purchasing Hunter Biden Artwork @thebigfreeze
Trump Asks To Move Up Inauguration To Midnight So He Can Still Make His 9am Shift At McDonald's @dontslowtheearth
Man Who Didn't Get Around To Black Friday Sale Now Paying Procrastinator Premium @priehle
Vaping Worship Drummer Saves Church As Fog Machine Stops Working @twoplus2ischicken
Boomer Keeps Asking What Part Of Town The App Store Is In @drconservativeprof
Santa Leaves A Spine In Speaker Johnson's Stocking @ruthiej714
Mom Of Gen X'er Gives Advice Via Fortune Cookie @aussiemama
Christmas Miracle: Man Finds Matching Lid For A Plastic Storage Container @strykeengineer
Recently Unemployed Party City Balloons Find Work As Spies @alola_rychu
Local Band 999 Megabytes Still Hasn't Gotten A Gig @coachjoeconway
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Man Has 137.9 ‘Husband' Rating With 73% Task Completion Rate @jswag
European Doctors Announce First Successful Hip Replacement Surgery On A Lizard @drconservativeprof
Aiden Secures Preemptive Pardon From POTUS For Any And All Naughty Acts Committed Before December 25 @atong61
Lost Scripture Reveals Jesus Grew Tired Of Getting 'World's Greatest Son' Mug Every Christmas @westland619
During Holidays, Local Man Working On His "Snowman Bod" @bigc
Mrs Claus Gets Santa A Prescription For Ozempic For Christmas @docsabre
Angel Tells Shepherds Savior Is Born And About The Wonders Of Bathing @davel
Speaker Mike Johnson's Kids Hand Him 1500 Page Christmas Wish List @ruthiej714
Spending Bill To Include 2 Replacement Hips Per Member of Congress @jcaswell
Landslide Of Democrats Show Up On Santa's Nice List Around 3 AM @anglosaxon
"Jesus Chose To Do An Entire Playthrough With God Mode Turned Off" - Op Ed By Youth Pastor Chet Skatington @baberahamlincoln
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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