Pride month is off and running to exceed the excesses of all the previous Pride months in order to prove just how accepting and open minded we are toward stunning and brave life choices. But some life choices are better than others, so lifestyles of disrepute must be counteracted with a whole month of celebration. Dads and Moms and the good ol' USA, however, are wholesome and therefore only get one day of celebration. This is science!
However, this week we briefly interrupted Pride month to celebrate the great choice of being a dad! And did you know that real-science affirming dad statisticians have discovered a loophole that proves that there can be millions of #1 Dads? We can't really explain it, but it's definitely true. Hats off to you dads who keep us laughing with your epic dad jokes and who inspire us to do great things and to do hard things well, without complaining. But that's not all that happened this week!
Read on for exclusive headlines that you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Hunter Biden's Artwork For Sale Now Includes License Plates @dontslowtheearth
Kitchen Sink Tired Of Being Excluded @kirgol
Local Man Pretends To Know What All Those Text Acronyms Stand For @priehle
Pride Flag Updated With Skid Marks To Be Inclusive Of Petrosexuals @mija
Lia Thomas Fakes Limp To Get On Paralympics Swim Team @showquest
Husband Tries To Convince Wife That Life Would Be Easier If He Owned A Crossbow @drconservativeprof
Rachel Maddow Is Sick And Tired Of Constantly Being Mistaken For Woody Allen @carolyn1
Judge Starting To Question Why Hunter Keeps Bringing Powdered Donuts To Court @thebigfreeze
CDC Admits To Safe And Effective Side Effects @gfanson
Climate Scientist Reminds Americans That Unseasonably Cold Temperatures Are Just Weather But Unseasonably Warm Temperatures Are Climate Change @fishythepenguin
U.S. Air Force To Patrol "No-Skid Zones" @twoplus2ischicken
Captain America's Suit Doesn't Have 50 Stars, So He's Actually Captain Puerto Rico @thecatman
Biden Administration Sends Condolences For Palestinians Lost In The Rescue Of 4 Israeli Hostages @thebigfreeze
Bitter Leftist Watches Neighbor Loving His New Bump Stock Father's Day Present @ruthiej714
FATHER'S DAY DINNER: Husband Honored To Choose Between Wife's Two Favorite Restaurants @afnarr
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favs:
Scolded Dog Miserably Replies, 'The Cat You Put Here With Me - She Gave Me The Pizza From The Box And I Ate It' @snackplissken
Monopoly Dollar Now Exceeds US Dollar In Buying Power @sdchuck22
Biden Justice Department Announces They Cured Lady Justice Of Blindness @drconservativeprof
Congressional Democrats Win Annual Baseball Tournament After Having Their Opponents Arrested @smitty2028
Presidential Debate To Include Controversial Swimsuit Segment @slapout
Pure Evil: New Star Wars Villain Is Straight, Mentally Stable White Guy With Job @muaddweeb
Soccer Named Official Sport Of Pride Month @webidtheefarewell
Woman Trying To Determine If Husband Was Raptured Or Just Left Clothes On The Floor @tylermontgomery
Government Warns Olympians Traveling To Paris Not To Pack Offensive Items Like Soap Or Deodorant @dontslowtheearth
Nation Makes Up For Disparaging Fathers 364 Days Of The Year With 25% Off Tool Sale @oulou123
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Secret Service Puts Biden On A Child Leash After He Wanders Off Yet Again @gwen42
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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