Not much, really. Haha...just kidding! This week, all kinds of wild stuff happened, as usual. But mostly we are waiting. Pretty much the only thing Americans and people around the world are thinking about is the upcoming presidential debate and wondering who will crash and burn, and also, if there is a tie, will it be settled with a dance off? Will Trump bring his best covfefe? Will Biden try to exert some trunderdashdubbadapressure? We will know soon enough! So, to fill the time between now and Thursday, we will entertain you with stunning and brave reports of some really crazy stuff that happened last week that most people don't know about. Yet.
Read on for exclusive headlines that you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason.
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
4-Year-Old Reveals Her Secret Ingredient For Mud Pies Is Love @kirgol
White Liberals Wish Each Other A Happy Juneteenth @dontslowtheearth
Biden To Wear Clown Shoes For Extra Stability During Debate @stankystankowicz
ACLU Requires Students To Erect Golden Calves In Louisiana Public School Classrooms @realmccoy
McDonald's Admits Their Ice Cream Machines Were Deep Fakes This Whole Time @drconservativeprof
Real President Helps Figurehead President Off Stage @thebigfreeze
Liberal Women Suddenly Able To Define A Woman When Daughters Forced To Register For Draft @priehle
Birds Tired Of Those Creepy People With Binoculars Staring At Them @reckless4life
Holy Spirit Chuckles When He Hears Cori Bush Take Credit For Healing @ruthiej714
Boeing Wants You To Know That In The Unlikely Event Of A Whistleblower, Your Seat Cushion Can Be Used As A Suffocation Device @gfanson
Redneck Figures It's Halfway To Christmas So No Point Taking Lights Down Now @genxambassador
Overheard In A Bar: So, How Long Have You Been A Woman? @babylonandonanon
Deliverance Minister Casts Demons Back Into Person After Card Declined @twoplus2ischicken
California's Reparation Plan Includes Giving Black Folks Green Light To Loot White People's Homes @dorli
Survey Finds 97% Of Americans Don't Know Why Their Bank And Post Office Are Closed On June 19th @strykeengineer
Clothing Shops Now Marketing Covid Masks As ‘Vintage Apparel' @mjja
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Miracle: After Feeding Multitude, Mother Takes Up 12 Baskets Of Goldfish Remnants From Minivan Back Seat @webidtheefarewell
CNN Cautions Debate Viewers Not To Be Alarmed If Biden's Lips, Eyes And Body Don't Move And His Voice Resembles That Of Barack Obama @leecory
Saying His Songs Were "Too Fast And Short," Congregation Rejected ASAP And Chose His More Mellow Twin, Asaph @garebare48
Democrats Reluctant To Replace Biden As Millions Of Ballots Are Already Filled Out And Ready To Mail @kanesickle
Satan's First Attempt At Getting Adam To Sin Was Giving Him A String Trimmer For The Garden @milofarmer
WH Explains That Biden Wanders Off Due To His 'Stutter' @palfey
Fly Curses Its Compound Eyes After Landing In The Middle Of A Pride Parade @kirgol
Local Man Scrolls Ancestry Results In Search Of Job Qualifications @muaddweeb
After Series Of Probing Questions, Husband Fears His Wife Might Be James O'Keefe In Disguise @retrops
@BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
DNC, MSM And Hollywood Prep End Of Summer Blockbuster Biden Replacement Release @boomerokay
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
Cover photoshop by subscriber @Disidente_Redactico
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