You move to the city to get away from the killer death-machine wild animals that inhabit the countryside. Alas, residents of Berlin aren't so lucky:
Armed police are scouring the German capital today after two locals saw the escaped lioness chasing a wild boar in the southern suburb of Kleinmachnow in the early hours of Thursday morning.
Last night, locals reported seeing the lioness and hearing lion roars in the nearby Zehlendorf area near the city limits, Berlin police said.
Alleged footage of the lion was circulating online earlier in the week:
Every resident of Berlin right now:
Seriously, what do you do if a lion is roving around your neighborhood? I mean if you encounter one of those things on foot, and it's feeling hungry, it's probably not going to end well for you. A lion is a very big animal.
Turns out, it was probably just a boar.
How people mistook a boar for a lion or how droves of police armed with submachine guns were fooled into searching for the lion remains unknown.
Kleinmachnow Mayor Michael Grubert told a press conference Friday afternoon that nothing was found by Berlin and Brandenburg police. Police spokesman Peter Foitzik confirmed at the press conference that the mission was ending.
"The body shape and posture of the animal depicted in the video were analyzed by two independent experts (one from South Africa). Both came to the conclusion that it was by no means a lion," according to a press release from the Kleinmachnow community.
I guess the Germans have lost the ability to deal with wild animals. They even did full-blown analysis on the video!
Oh, Europeans...
