The San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Office said that they received 911 call that was quickly disconnected. Several attempts were made to reestablish contact with the number, but the caller did not answer the phone.

The Sheriff's department traced the call to Zoo for You in Paso Robles, which is an animal conservatory that gives a home to displaced, abused, abandoned, or permanently injured wild and exotic animals, and sent deputies to investigate.

Imagine the deputies surprise when they discovered a female Capuchin monkey named Route was the one making the calls.

Well, technically she was mashing buttons like an amateur playing Street Fighter, but somehow the primate suspect managed to enter 911 and press send.

Apparently, the sticky-fingered monkey had stolen the cellphone from one of the staff member's golf carts.

You can see a video of Route mashing on — and also trying to eat the phone here:

If these events happened in New York, there would no doubt be calls to classify Route as a person, so she could run free like the court case regarding Happy the elephant.

Since this is California, my guess is that Route will be released without bail to continue her life of crime unabated, and if she is convicted for making fraudulent emergency calls, Gavin Newsom will offer her a billion free bananas to fight inflation.

What a slippery slope that will be.

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