Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the CDC is at it again!

Got that?

DON'T.

KISS.

CHICKENS.

Don't you even think about kissing chickens!

And if you see someone within six feet of a chicken, kindly remind them to keep one cow length between themselves and the chickens at all times. This should be easy since if there are chickens around there's bound to be a cow.

Nah, but seriously I can sort of understand the CDC here. It looks like there's a bit of a salmonella outbreak going on. 163 people in 43 states have gotten sick—and that's just the people who reported their illness. Most of the cases are connected to backyard poultry, and a third of the cases were in kids under age five.

So maybe it's the kids that are kissing the chickens?

Either way, I wouldn't wish salmonella on anyone. That stuff's nasty, and it hurts—BAD.

I'm also willing to bet that there's recently been a spike of interest in backyard poultry and we have a lot of newcomers to the game. Because everybody in 2020 turned into a survivalist.

Possibly these noobs are kissing chickens?

A little advice from the CDC for you noobs:

Backyard poultry can carry Salmonella germs even if they look healthy and clean. These germs can easily spread in areas where they live and roam.

And here are some steps you can take to stay healthy around your backyard poultry:

• Always wash your hands for 20 seconds after touching the flock or flock supplies.
• Keep flock and flock supplies outside the house to prevent spreading germs into your house.
• Don't let children younger than 5 years touch the birds (including chicks and ducklings) or anything in the area where the birds live and roam.
• Don't kiss or snuggle the birds, as this can spread germs to your mouth and make you sick.

Wow, didn't realize it said "snuggle" too.

That's weird...

So I guess we'll never know who's out there kissing and snuggling chickens, but whoever you are…

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!

Oh look! Tucker Carlson also covered this and his take is a bit different than mine (mainly "the government is coming after our chickens"). So I'll just leave this right here: