You guys, this is one of my favorite stories to ever go up on this website:

 

 

 

How was it that grandpa used to say?

Clutch, shift, release, gas?

I think that sounds right, though it's been a while since I've handled a manual transmission…

But if you're in the car-stealin' game, you'd better have these skills more than brushed up on.

Unlike this guy.

Yup, this dude was not prepared for the job.

[Andrew] Moran allegedly knocked on the victim's driver's side door as she sat in the parking lot of a strip mall in the 4800 block of North Milwaukee around 12:25 p.m. Friday.

Holding his left hand in his jacket pocket, Moran told the victim to get out because he "needed" to take the car because someone would kill him if he didn't, prosecutors said. The woman, believing Moran had a gun in his jacket pocket, got out and called the police from a nearby store.

While she called for help, Moran struggled to get her Audi A3 moving because he didn't know how to drive a stick shift, according to prosecutors. He gave up and ran away as police sirens grew louder. Prosecutors said surveillance cameras recorded the carjacking attempt.

Dude simply could not drive the car!

And hey, you gotta give him credit for giving up!

Some things in life are just not worth pursuing, especially when you haven't done the proper homework for the job you've taken on (ie. knowing how to drive stick).

However, Andrew made one crucial mistake once he ditched the job: He forgot to ditch the key fob, which happened to come equipped with a tracking device.

And that mistake cost him big time.

Cops tracking the woman's key fob realized it was traveling along the [subway's] Blue Line. Officers intercepted an inbound train at the Addison station and arrested Moran. They said they found the woman's key fob on the train car, and another passenger allegedly told them Moran dropped it as they arrived at the scene.

Prosecutors also accused Moran of spitting in an officer's face and kicking other cops during his arrest and at the police station.

So yeah, go ahead and file this one under "dumb criminals," because this might be the best example we've come across so far for the category.

This world is so upside down, even the criminals aren't good at their jobs.