Reports earlier this week clearly indicated that a bag of cocaine was discovered in the White House library:

The library is accessible to tour guests, meaning it could have been dropped by a visitor who, I dunno, just decided to do a line while on a tour surrounded by people and Secret Service agents or something.

But wait: Apparently it wasn't just found in the library, but in a specific part of it:

The substance was found in a common area of the West Wing, which houses the Oval Office and offices of some of the president's top aides and support staff.

A "common area?" What does that mean? Like a break room or something? But wait, it gets more confusing:

A senior law enforcement official told CBS News the substance was found in a storage facility in a cubby routinely used by White House staff and guests to store cell phones.

It was found in a "storage facility in a cubby?" Huh? So this "cubby" was stashed in a "storage facility?" By whom and to what end? Do White House "staff and guests" routinely dump their cell phones in cubbies that are then crammed into separate "storage facilities?"

BUT WAIT, NOW IT WAS NEAR THE SITUATION ROOM WHERE KAMALA PARKS HER CAR:

Now it's in an area not accessible to the public??

I say we pause everything else in DC until we solve this mystery.

Something smells funny about all this and I don't think it's the coke.

Kamala and Hunter better have their alibis ready!