We did it, everyone! We finally reached peak government inefficiency!
On Friday, the Democrat-led House revealed the rules for its 117th session, with special emphasis placed on the removal of gendered language.
Yes, you read that right. You may be broke from lockdowns, fighting back the specters of past addictions, depressed, isolated, and afraid, but never fear, Congress is here, and they've devoted extra time to being "inclusive" just for you!
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Rules Committee Chairman James McGovern (D-MA) were the ones who announced this new level in the Congressional circus. I have to say, I didn't think that clowns were that entertaining anymore, but they sure proved me wrong!
"This package, which will be introduced and voted on once the new Congress convenes, includes sweeping ethics reforms, increases accountability for the American people, and makes this House of Representatives the most inclusive in history," said the House Committee on Rules.
Part of the rule package includes the creation of a committee (there's one for everything!) on "Economic Disparity and Fairness in Growth," which would require House members to "honor all gender identities by changing pronouns and familial relationships in the House rules to be gender neutral."
In practical terms, this means they will ban anyone from using the following terms in the House:
"Father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, first cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, stepbrother, stepsister, half brother, half sister, grandson, or granddaughter."
Such horribly offensive terms must be replaced by bold, brave, and inclusive terms (the destruction of words is a beautiful thing, after all). Here's what will be allowed (for the moment):
"Parent, child, sibling, parent's sibling, first cousin, sibling's child, spouse, parent-in-law, child-in-law, sibling-in-law, stepparent, stepchild, stepsibling, half-sibling, or grandchild"
I look forward to these terms subsequently becoming banned in 2022 should Democrats keep the House.
What utter lunacy!
Within every insane piece of news, however, there is a silver lining. In this case, this announcement has given me an insight and an appreciation into what it must have felt like to live under the bloated bureaucracy of the Jin and Song dynasties right before Genghis and Kublai Khan were about to invade.