This is legitimately the sort of thing that might have run at The Babylon Bee in the years before reality outclipped The Bee by around 150%:
[Warning: Violence]
87-year old Chinese immigrant Rongxin Liao is fleeing San Francisco for China after getting assaulted multiple times.
You know it's bad when people rather live under a Communist dictatorship than San Francisco.
Just brutal. Liao has been assaulted multiple times in San Francisco, including "a horrific assault where he was kicked out of his walker," as well as an instance in which he "was beaten unconscious in the Tenderloin district." Last year he was beaten in a Walgreens.
His son told the San Francisco Standard that it is "too dangerous" in the city, and that "[the] public safety situation in San Francisco has become worse and worse."
The father, meanwhile, is heading back home in part so that his family can have some peace:
'I don't want to be a drag to my son here,' Liao told Sing Tao Daily. 'I don't want him to worry about me all the time.'
This isn't a one-off, by the way. The city is in such unbelievably rotten shape that they literally offer tours now to show how bad it is:
Disgraceful stuff, San Francisco.
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