"Cup Noodles" is the iconic brand of cup-based noodle snack, the kind where you dump boiling water into the cup, let it sit, and then consume the noodles. (Some people, for reasons known but to God, elect to fill the cup with cold water and then microwave it. Not here to judge but I'm definitely judging you for that.)

The brand has been around for half a century, so they're naturally celebrating that accomplishment with a variety of promotionals, including...um...noodle-flavored soda:

Sodas come in all flavors these days. Gone are the days of just the conventional cherry or vanilla. Now you can buy coffee-flavored sodas. You can buy chocolate sodas. Even Peeps-flavored sodas exist. So it makes perfect sense that Japan's Nissin Foods is creating a series of ramen flavored sodas. And when you consider that Nissin Foods' brand Cup Noodle is turning 50 this year, the story comes together.

Oh, the "story comes together?" No it does not. Nothing about this story could ever "come together." It can only fall apart.

In celebration of this milestone come four ramen-flavored sodas. These flavors are Cup Noodle, Seafood, Curry, and Chili Tomato...The Cup Noodle drink will be a ginger-ale style beverage, but with hints of a salty sauce and pepper. Meanwhile, the Seafood soda will be a cream-style soda, with just a hint of seafood. Next, the Curry soda will resemble a cola and contain curry spices. Finally, the Chili Tomato Soda has a tomato base with a light tingle. These sound like they might be savory.

Ah yes, just what the world needed: A creamy seafood soda, a spicy tomato soda! We have now reached peak civilizational development: First, the development of penicillin, then the creation of the microprocessor, now "salty sauce" ginger ale.

Look, obviously everyone's going to try these. It's just too weird not to give it a shot. But we can all at least be indignant about the absurdity of the whole thing. Cup Noodles are good, but some things are just beyond the bounds of good taste.