DC's new Superman will be super gay and super into climate change
· Oct 11, 2021 · NottheBee.com

Remember when Superman was punching Nazis and talking about "truth, justice, and the American way"?

Those days were nice.

The new Superman, Jonathan Kent — who is the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane — will soon begin a romantic relationship with a male friend, DC Comics announced Monday.

That same-sex relationship is just one of the ways that Jonathan Kent, who goes by Jon, is proving to be a different Superman than his famous father. Since his new series, Superman: Son of Kal-El, began in July, Jon has combated wildfires caused by climate change, thwarted a high school shooting and protested the deportation of refugees in Metropolis.

So basically our new woke Superman will fly around talking about "feelings, gender, and the Marxist way" while he saves school board members from angry mothers by blasting them into piles of dust with his heat vision.

Here he is introducing his boyfriend to his family:

I assume he'll also blast through the roofs of churches who say a man is a man and a woman is a woman, punch grandmas with American flags who trespassed in the Capitol, destroy border agents with their "whips," round up pro-life protestors and legislators, and help Antifa burn down America!

"The idea of replacing Clark Kent with another straight white savior felt like a missed opportunity," Tom Taylor, who writes the series, said in an interview. He said that a "new Superman had to have new fights — real world problems — that he could stand up to as one of the most powerful people in the world."

Yes, "real-world problems."

You know, the kind that only live in a woke cultist's head.

Though Superman is not the first L.G.B.T.Q. hero, and will not be the last, comics experts said that there was something particularly momentous about Superman coming out.

"It is not Northstar, who your aunt has never heard of," said Glen Weldon, the author of "Superman: The Unauthorized Biography," and the co-host of the Pop Culture Happy Hour on N.P.R. "It's not Hulkling. It's not Wiccan. It's not Fire and Ice. It's not Tasmanian Devil. It is Superman. That counts for something — just in terms of visibility, just in terms of the fact that this is going to attract attention."

Here's the comic panel where the son of Superman gets angry about the environment, fomenting anger against those evil people who say that manmade climate change is exaggerated based on the data and that power-hungry politicians are using it as an excuse to rule the masses.

"No one gets left behind."

Well, you know, as long as they're woke. The other 7.5 billion non-woke people on the planet who don't "unite" behind the cause will have to go!

I really hope the new Lex Luthor is a committed family man who believes in Jesus, small government, liberty, and personal responsibility!


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