Here's a story that everyone who doesn't live in the town of Travis Heights will find hilarious:

Yes, that's a dive-bombing hawk who "has been targeting postal workers — and anyone else who goes outside."

And to me, if I'm a member of the Travis Heights community, that sounds like a challenge. Though the hawk is a federally protected animal, so my master plan of walking this neighborhood with a Louisville Slugger is probably illegal.

Here's what USPS had to say after, I can only presume, one of their mail carriers was dive-bombed by the protective hawk.

USPS told KXAN that it had stopped delivering to several homes in Travis Heights to protect its employees from getting harmed by the bird.

"The Postal Service always strives to provide the best possible service; however, the safety of our employees and customers is our priority. With regards to mail service in the Travis Heights neighborhood, the presence of a hawk has prevented safe delivery of mail to a few of the residents on Milal and Kenwood streets," a USPS spokesperson said in a statement...

USPS has a policy where they do not deliver to home if there is potential for harm. USPS said it would also stop services if something like a hornet's nest were near a mailbox.

They had to flippin' suspend mail service because of a hawk!

Classic!

The experts in this case believe that the bird is being protective of its young, which explains why it's making so many swoops at unsuspecting humans. It's also true that last year's ice storm damaged about 30% of Austin's tree canopies, which may have caused this hawk to relocate to a busier neighborhood (hey, times are tough for hawks right now).

So for now, mail delivery is suspended in Travis Heights — that is, until my Louisville Slugger arrives (ordered from Amazon, of course, because they're not wimps and will deliver under any and all circumstances.)

I'll leave you with this local news coverage, which, again, is just classic: