It was a two-hour drive, but I might as well have been engaging the hyperdrive to an alien star system.

The contrast between Washington DC and rural Pennsylvania could not be any starker, and is indicative of the contrast between almost any urbanized area and its small-town surroundings.

I go to Pennsylvania quite a bit as I have family and friends scattered across the commonwealth, but this was a little different in that I was attending the annual Chrysler Nationals in Carlisle, Pennsylvania with my son. This is a celebration of all that is Mopar, but more than that, a celebration of car culture and the freedom and independence it represents. As such, it draws into even sharper relief the fundamental different worldview among people who cherish such things, and those who prefer the illusory promises of safety and security on offer from an all-powerful state.

Once you get off of Route 270, the at-times six-lane highway (each way) that is the major north-south artery out of the DC metro area, the drive becomes pleasantly rural. Before long you find yourself driving through expansive orchards and rolling hills.

In this part of the country, people are unabashedly proud of their nation, hanging flags along the street and shouting it to the world.

We found parking among one of the various retail businesses that close down for the weekend and sell spaces just a block or so off the Carlisle Fairgrounds.

I parked before I knew what the price was but I wasn't worried, this is small-town Pennsylvania and I was not going to get ripped off. It was $10. The guy collecting the money said he hasn't changed the price, in fact no one has, for about 20 years.

"Did you see all the money he had?" my son asked me in wonder as we walked away. And indeed, he had a giant fistful of cash, but again, he wasn't worried in part because of where he was, and in part because he was probably armed.

We entered at Gate 1, where the various vendors set up tents selling everything from car parts to tools to signs. Obviously, these people want to sell their wares and presumably stock what they believe will sell well. With that in mind...

And no, I didn't see anything with "Biden-Harris 2024" anywhere.

One of the themes this year was a focus on the "Malaise Era." I had not heard of that particular characterization of late-'70s to early '80s automotive history, but got it immediately.

Of course, the name comes from President Jimmy Carter's 1979 "malaise" speech in which he bemoaned the nation's general state of depression not fully comprehending his role in that condition.

(Fun fact: He never used the word "malaise" in the speech, that was a bit of branding by others that stuck immediately given the general downer that was the speech.)

The domestic automobiles of that era reflected the times and were in a word, awful.

I think it's hilarious, and a testament to the American spirit, that this has turned into something fun and tongue-in-cheek, and I think it's cool that there are people quirky enough in this country to show those godforsaken vehicles some love.

Behold a living museum of American automotive mediocrity:

I told my son that a roommate of mine in college had a version of this vehicle.

"How was it?" he asked.

"A piece of crap," I replied.

This one was actually nicely taken care of, and again, loved seeing what it looked like in its, um, "prime." (My roommate's car couldn't go over 45 MPH up even modest inclines. I drove that thing to Pittsburgh for a job interview once. Slowly.)

Here is a shrine to the 1982 Dodge Mirada.

The only people who remember what a 1982 Dodge Mirada looks like is this guy and his long-suffering family.

Here's a 1990 Dodge Mirada.

That's enough to form a club!

Here's a classic in the land yacht category, a 1981 Chrysler New Yorker Fifth Avenue.

You could put a studio apartment in the trunk and get $1,700 a month for it in DC.

The Dodge Omni GLH also made an appearance.

The GLH was supposed to stand for "Goes Like Hell," although it was always unclear to me if that meant the car, or the designers.

In all seriousness, these cars have a soft place in my heart, and I understand the attraction to this strange and largely unloved corner of car collecting having as I do, an unhealthy obsession with the American Motors Eagle, an all-wheel-drive sedan (it was also available as a station wagon) that my brother and I once rented for a road trip to Pennsylvania in the winter. Awesome car. Also, junk.

Both can be true at the same time.

My most enduring love is for Dodge Chargers, so we made our way there next.

But then I saw this.

You had me at "beer."

I got this, a product of a local Carlisle brewery appropriately named, "Desperate Times Brewery."

It was genuinely excellent.

On to the show!

Here is a beautiful example of a 2nd-generation Charger.

I had one like this for a time.

A row of third-generation Chargers, one of which I also had until recently.

Oh, look, a Charger.

You need to see more chargers?

Of course you do.

There were other vehicles as well, it was an impressive showing overall.

Before we moved on, we took a break to do this.

We were passengers of course, and it was a 30-minute wait for 48 seconds of excitement, but I've waited in longer lines for less thrilling rides at an amusement park. Definitely a blast, and the driver knew his stuff. The whole thing was complimentary including the T-shirt we each got.

I paid $12 for each of us in advance online to get into this show ($15 at the gate). There is no better entertainment bargain that I know of.

We made it to a hill where the more modern cars were. It's hard to reflect the expansiveness of this show in pictures, so I tried to capture it as best I could with a quick pan.

These are not to my taste, but that's not the point. It's to these people's taste and I applaud their commitment!

Especially this guy. He went all in on the Ghost Rider theme.

We took a break for lunch. This is Pennsylvania, so the dessert selection of course included whoopie pies. I mean, it would be crazy not to have them.

I took a moment to check out the event program and my eye was drawn to this.

Women's Oasis

This unique shopping opportunity is in the huge tent on Rows NC/ND, and includes seminars. Learn how to make some delicious meals or test new kitchen products and gadgets. Visit the Oasis for full schedule of events.

Were such a passage to appear in, say, the Arlington County Fair program where I live right outside DC, large portions of the population would spontaneously combust and women's studies majors across the nation would shriek uncontrollably sensing a disturbance in the narrative.

It also leaves aside the question of what a woman is, so there would be that confusion as well.

We were winding down, so began making our way back to the vendors when I came across this:

There aren't many places where this would be necessary. A machine shop, maybe? But yes, I'm sure in years past, people thought nothing of tossing a cracked differential case into the trash.

I noticed one place selling vinyl, which my son has recently started collecting. I warned him that given the venue, there was going to be a lot of metal and a lot of country.

They did not disappoint.

In fact, there was a bonus.

Death metal!

I came across this as well. I knew there were custom versions of Monopoly, but, um, Britney Spears? Ru Paul Drag Race?!

Interestingly, one of the vendors we came across had an extensive selection of high-quality switchblades for sale which we did not buy and if we did they were lost in a boating accident on the way back.

One final task to attend to before we left.

We each had one, and by "each had one," I mean my son had 3/4 and I had 1 1/4.

(I ended up having a salad for dinner.)

Did I say one more task? There was one other for the drive home, a stop I remembered from the last time we were here in 2021.

I'm in Pennsylvania, I'm not leaving without a whoopie pie! Or three.

And just like that, the question of "what's for dessert?" was answered.

I love making these trips, particularly with my son. I have surely failed him in many aspects of parenting (he watches WAY too much TikTok) but I've instilled in him a love for cars, old cars even, and a burning interest in learning how to drive which apparently is a waning desire among younger generations who seem increasingly comfortable with the idea of dependence vs. independence.

Which brings us back to the beginning. Living in deep-blue Arlington, Virginia makes it all the more important that I get him out of here to see a different side of life.

When we were leaving he was happily opening and closing the switchblade (which he did not have and wasn't doing) as we were walking down the street and noted the obvious:

"I couldn't do this in Arlington."

No, you couldn't.