Facebook's legendary inaugural motto was "move fast and break things." That signaled the edgy, take-no-prisoners company it was at its launch.

Eventually they changed the slogan to "Move fast," presumably because Facebook itself got big enough to break and they didn't wanna encourage their competitors.

Now they're rolling out...well, see for yourself:

Meta. Metamates. Me.

At a virtual all-hands meeting Tuesday, Facebook escalated its attempts to not only rebrand itself but also manage its demoralized and often adversarial workforce with a new set of corporate values derived from a naval slogan.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who renamed the company Meta late last year, held up a slide deck showcasing new corporate values: Employees would be expected to first prioritize Meta, followed by a person's team (metamates), followed by the individual (me). He said that the company's corporate values would be "Live in the future" and "Be direct and respect your colleagues," according to three people familiar with the meeting who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe internal matters. It was previously "Be open."

"Meta. Metamates. me." Ooooooh that is brutal. It's just hard to watch.

Wait, folks, wait: It gets worse.

[Zuckerberg] said that the company's corporate values would be "Live in the future" and "Be direct and respect your colleagues," according to three people familiar with the meeting who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe internal matters. It was previously "Be open."

Years ago, the company's slogan of "Move fast and break things" was changed to just "Move fast." On Tuesday, the company announced it would now be "Move fast together."

"Move fast together!"

This is not pleasant. It has been rough stuff watching Facebook descend from its norm-shattering beginnings into a stale, busted, lame, completely uninspiring corporate behemoth.

Somehow though, we're gonna force ourselves to keep watching. Hey pass the popcorn would you?

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