Kim Jong Un AKA Little Rocket Man has been forced to order his citizens to stop committing suicide after numbers in the country have surged recently.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has issued a secret order to local authorities that would ban suicides after data showed numbers skyrocketing, according to government officials who spoke to Radio Free Asia.
Of course the suicides themselves are a tragic testament to the horrific conditions in North Korea, where starvation and government tyranny are two very regular facts of daily life.
It's unclear just how many suicides are taking place there, though one South Korean intelligence estimate said the numbers had jumped 40% year-over-year.
Kim, meanwhile, claimed killing oneself counts as an "act of treason against socialism." Doubtless he sees it that way. If only so many innocent people didn't think it was their only option.