Broward Circuit Court Judge Gary Farmer has been suspended after telling one too many jokes from the bench.
The Investigative Panel of the Florida Judicial Qualifications Commission (FJQC) decided that Judge Farmer's jokes were so bad that he shouldn't be a judge anymore.
‘Through his extensive misconduct, occurring over a lengthy period of time, Judge Farmer has damaged the public's perception of the judiciary and the judicial branch in such a way that he has demonstrated a present unfitness to serve,' investigators said.
So, what were some examples of jokes that the Commission cited for evidence for the suspension?
Here are a couple of real zingers:
Spring is here.
I got so excited I wet my plants!
And
What did the shirt say to the pair of pants?
Wassup britches!
Of course, the Commission had more evidence than these corny examples, though I'm super amused they included them in the official report at all.
Judge Farmer also took great liberty making fun of a guy who was about to go to jail, and who had three women currently pregnant with his children.
‘OK, you've been busy. You were just shooting all over the place!' Farmer told the man. ‘That's good. Do you know their names? First and last? Romantic, are you? Don't tell Susie about Jane. Don't tell Jane about Mary. God bless you, man. One's enough.'
When he was ready to allow the man pretrial release, he went on record saying:
‘I'm going to order that you wear a condom at all times,' Farmer told the defendant. ‘For your own good, OK? Probation is going to check. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.'
He even warned him not to get his female attorney pregnant over the course of the trial.
Then when he called up the next defendant he said,
Mr. Saunders, you got any babies on the way? [No] Alright, smart man!
No, no!
Don't laugh!
This is serious stuff!
In another case, he apparently extensively quoted from a skit on In Living Color, making fun of gay people.
Marlon Wayans — In Living Color. Two snaps and a sweater! He likes it when the Oilers play the Packers! He used to be a tight end! Now he's a wide receiver. Oh, that's bad. Court reporter in the sky, please! Strike that from the record!
He claimed he didn't know his mic was still on with that one.
He also apparently hands out golden Oreos if people know the names of songs he plays on his phone in the middle of court.
Oh, there's one more little thing that probably drove the final nail in the coffin of his suspension.
He didn't bother showing up for one of the suspension hearings.
It's kind of hard to come back from that one, no matter how funny you are.
Shout out to Not the Bee users @quodscripsi and @gwen42 for the heads up about this story.
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