The feral chicken population on the Hawaiian islands is growing so out-of-control that this year the government there opened up a major front against the marauding wildfowl:
Fighting has been scattered and brutal, with the indigenous chicken population deftly exploiting the local terrain to wage successful guerrilla warfare on an unprecedented scale.
Reports back from the front, meanwhile, indicate that the tide is turning in favor of the chickens:
Honolulu has spent $7,000 catching 67 feral chickens in recent months.
Feral chickens, rampant across Oahu, are also a statewide nuisance. A bill to establish a five-year pilot program to manage the population of feral chickens by "humane and cost-effective methods," including the use of a bird contraceptive, failed to advance at the Legislature this year, but the City and County of Honolulu initiated its own pilot program, Hawaii News Now reported.
At a City Council meeting earlier this week, officials said the Customer Services Department spent $104 per chicken trapped at five locations over the past two months.
That kind of resource-draining war of attrition is critical if your foe has more hard resources at his command than you. The chickens very well know they can't fight against Oahu's guns and opposable thumbs—they simply can't match the insurgents bullet-for-bullet and tech-for-tech.
But they can make them drop a cool seven grand just to catch a few dozen useless birds. What do the feral chickens care? They're feral chickens! Not like they have anywhere to be!
The regime, of course, is trying to spin this brutal defeat in its favor:
That amount was less than half of the $220 per bird the city expected to spend.
Yeah, uh huh. Tell that to local taxpayers:
"We were originally expecting to drop $220 per bird but we got it down to a measly $104!"
See how long the people put up with it!
The chickens get it. They know that the money is a problem. They know they have the raw numbers at their disposal. They recognize that the average Hawaiian resident isn't going to tolerate but so many paychecks going toward the chicken problem.
In effect, they're telling their enemy, "I don't think I have to wait out your guns and your traps..."
The chickens have the upper hand now!
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