Your mainstream media is hard at work this week, writing new hard-hitting pieces on one of the most divisive and polarizing presidents in American history.
Before you get too excited, I'm not talking about Donald Trump. I'm referring to govern-through-executive-order Joe Biden (who has been anything but unifying his first month in office).
Here were two of the insightful media stories that actual journalists got paid to write:
In the first, Newsweek brought full transparency to the administration by letting us know Joe Biden's amazing gamer skills. Yes, his administration doesn't have a plan for COVID, is pursuing very far left agendas on baby murder and immigration, and a bunch of peeps don't have jobs, BUT LOOK AT HIS WICKED SKILLS AS HE TAKES THIS CORNER AS LUIGI:
I bet you wish your state was open so you could go to an arcade, huh?
"This isn't the first time Biden has entered the gaming world," wrote Newsweek, barely containing their excitement with shaking hands. "During the 2020 presidential election, Biden had an "Animal Crossing: New Horizon" island set up, engaging with Biden-Harris supporters from all over the country and encouraging gamers to vote. On the island, there were flowers arranged in the shape of the American flag, along with ice cream carts."
In the second piece, CNN shone some light on Biden's hyper-divisive agenda, passing over questions like, "Why won't you call Israel an ally?" and "Will you allow parents to object to men in their daughter's bathrooms?" to let us know how cute Pops Biden likes to snuggle next to a fire and hit the hay early.
"He has expressed a preference for a fire built in the Oval Office fireplace, and sometimes adds a log himself to keep it going," wrote CNN as they let out a little sigh of adoration. "His dogs, two German Shepherds called Major and Champ, sometimes join him."
CNN also blew the lid off how Biden still brings a leather briefcase with him to work, how he gets bagels after attending mass as the best-Catholic-who-ever-supported-abortion ever, and how Jill gave him a kiss before he embarked on Air Force One.
"His adjustment period inside the executive mansion has been minimal. 'It feels like I am going home,' he said as he entered the White House on Inauguration Day. Though he had never lived in the building previously, it was a return of sorts for a man who has wanted to reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for years. He has found his old stomping grounds familiar, dropping into his onetime office in the West Wing one day last week to show his new vice president the place on the window where his wife wrote him a Valentine's Day greeting in 2009."
Another way of putting this type of media coverage into perspective is this:
Or perhaps this: