So much privilege. So little time:
(Click image to enlarge / zoom.)
How do I know there are 97 items specifically?
Because I counted them five times and came up with 97 twice, so I'm going with that.
In case you're wondering, this is not parody (check the name of the website you're on). This is a real thing that grown adults did as a serious exercise for other grown adults to fill out.
I came across this checklist through the Manhattan Institute's Chris Rufo, who was using it as part of his expose on Disney. It is part of a YWCA "21-Day Racial Equity & Social Justice Challenge" for which Disney is a co-sponsor.
It is a national effort, with this particular list prepared by the Cleveland chapter.
Before we get started, I promise not to go through all 97 items and explicate on each at great length.
Well, "promise" is a strong word...
Anyway, we'll start with a few of the biggies that we've all seen before:
- I am white.
- I am a man.
- I am heterosexual.
Those are spread out on the list, but everyone knows that those are the big three, the "gold-silver-bronze" of privilege. If you've got all three, you've got it made.
So privileged. No problems. Silver spoon to golden parachute.
But as you can see, privilege these days goes well beyond these broad categories. In today's woke world, not only do we have microaggressions, we have microprivileges.
There are a number that appear to suggest wealth. You could just make that a category called "I'm rich" and be done with it. But why do that when you can luxuriate in your social anxiety and class resentment?
Still, they have a number of misses even on that count.
- I never had a roommate.
I don't think that automatically confers privilege. That could just mean you're really difficult to live with. Perhaps you have a personality disorder or you squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle (but I repeat myself) or you insist that the toilet paper be hung under the roll because WHO DOES THAT IT'S UNSANITARY!
Or, it could just mean you're serving a life sentence in solitary confinement.
- I don't have any student loans.
This tells you so, so much about the people making these lists. They are not tradesmen and clearly do not come from blue-collar families – certainly not dirt-poor families who would not consider the absence of a student loan to be "privilege." Quite the opposite. People with student loans (and presumably college degrees) are among the most privileged of society. These people live an existence where everyone goes to college (of course!) and so naturally must have student loans.
Everyone they know has one!
It is also inconceivable to them that you could actually – you know – work hard, save your money, sacrifice, and avoid taking out loans like the frustrated dad who confronted Elizabeth Warren about student loan forgiveness after he had put his daughter through college without any.
"My buddy had fun, bought a car, and went on all the vacations, I saved my money. He makes more than I did. I worked a double shift."
"You're laughing at me," the man said, which Warren denied. "Yeah, that's exactly what you're doing."
And she was. She simply could not compute what the man was telling her. It was inconceivable.
The only way you don't have student loans is if you are rich, or at least richer than the people preparing these lists are and we can't have that, it's UNFAIR!
Speaking of which, there are a whole lot of entries like these.
- I have traveled internationally.
- I travel internationally at least once a year.
- I studied abroad.
- I've never skipped a meal to save money.
- I spent Spring Breaks abroad.
These appear in that exact order on the list.
As I mentioned before, just have a box called "I'm rich" and be done with it. But since they are seething with resentment, they can't let it go that easy.
And why is "I've never skipped a meal to save money" stuck in there other than to sneer in a pantomime of class solidarity?
This isn't a list, it's a brain-storming session. You know, the ones where "there's no such thing as a bad idea." They left out the 20 follow-on sessions where you weed out all the bad ideas.
Speaking of which:
- I have never been raped.
Where did that come from? What kind of people are putting together this list? And why is this the only serious crime listed? Can you be the victim of a drive-by shooting or is that off-narrative?
- I have never been denied an opportunity because of my gender.
Alas, my dreams of becoming a Radio City Music Hall Rockette were dashed early on...
One of the most fascinating things about the "anti-racism" movement is its denial of the existence of the world since 1959. It's as if there has been no progress in civil rights in the past 60 years – or for that matter, the past 244 years. They must deny reality at every turn, from police statistics to crime statistics, otherwise their false construct of a structurally racist society that cannot progress short of tearing it all down falls apart.
We have female doctors, astronauts, and combat marines. Male nurses and flight attendants – once considered curiosities – are commonplace. And yes, we even have male Rockettes.
If you've been denied a job, it almost certainly wasn't because of your gender. You might want to think about that.
Then there are the genuinely comical entries.
- I have frequent flier miles.
Wow, you filled out one of those cards at the counter when you were checking in for your cousin's wedding.
Look, I was alive back when flying was a bit of a luxury, but you can fly places for less than a hundred bucks now, so unless CVS reward points and cable TV is on this list—
- I've always had cable/internet.
You ever drive through rural America? Ever see the huge satellite dishes outside nearly every trailer on the side of the road? Those people are not privileged.
They do get ESPN, however.
- I have never been told I'm overweight or "too skinny."
Picture if you can, the collection of aggrieved upper-middle-class Marxists and neurotic narcissists that had to have gotten together to prepare this list.
- I have never worked as a waiter, barista, bartender, or salesperson.
This is the only recitation of specific jobs. Why these? What about cook, busboy, and dishwasher, because I've done all those. Does that make me part of the privileged class because at least I wasn't a salesperson?
Wait, salesperson? There are a lot of salespeople who make six-figure incomes, from real estate to medical equipment to pharmaceuticals.
These people have lived remarkably cloistered lives.
- I have never been mocked for my accent.
If you have ever moved from one part of the country to an entirely different part of the country, you have been mocked for your accent. Been there, done that.
I feel like I'm owed something.
It has been said that if you continue to slice and dice the population into ever more categories, you'll eventually end up with the ultimate minority: the individual. But that's not where lists like these are heading. Lists like these are meant to create a hierarchy of resentment, pitting everyone against everyone else and making victimhood a desired commodity to be monetized either for cash or social cred (or both).
If we don't try to put a stop to this, the lists will get longer and more ridiculous.
I look forward to future entries like these:
- I never saw the last season of Game of Thrones.
- I never won a game of Battleship.
- I put pineapple on my pizza...