America is the motherland of the amazing condiment we so nonchalantly refer to as "ranch" – a salad dressing that's pretty much a gift from heaven above.
Fallen creatures that we are, however, we too often commit the same error as Icarus and fly perilously close to the sun.
From Food & Wine:
The Limited-Edition Holiday RanchNog Kit features everything necessary to make this unholy merger of two creamy concoctions. The kit was created in partnership with mixologists Whiskey and Rosemary and, as Hidden Valley describes it, "marries the creamy, slightly sweet elements of eggnog with the savory, cool and herby flavors of ranch."
I'm sorry, I just can't.
Inside the $50 box, ranch lovers will find two HVR RanchNog glasses, which are custom-etched 8.5-ounce Libbey Irish custom coffee mugs; a 2.5-ounce stainless steel jigger; and two Hidden Valley Original Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix packets, enough of the stuff to make two drinks. Finally, customers will get a card with the coveted RanchNog recipe.
It sounds so unbelievably gross, but at least it proves the total depravity of man.
What's even grosser is that there's a bunch of you out there who would actually like this.