You can pretty much find death and sickness within anything, so long as you commission the right study and design the right parameters. So it should be no surprise that some researchers finally got around to quantifying the exact metric by which hot dogs are killing you every time you eat them:
[W]e developed the Health Nutritional Index to quantify marginal health effects in minutes of healthy life gained or lost of 5,853 foods in the US diet…
The health burden attributable to a serving of beef hotdog on a bun is 36 min lost…largely due to the detrimental effect of processed meat.
Yeah, there's a plan for a happy life: Give up the hot dog and eat a handful of macadamia nuts. Don't you feel so much better now? So much more fibrous and monounsaturated fat-ty?
Meanwhile, in the real world, people were like, "No thank you, I will keep enjoying hotdogs because they're delicious and I am able to do a reasonable cost-benefit analysis on the totality of my life's experience."
Grace Bahler's dad is a national hero and a true Patriot.
Four hundred and sixty-seven hotdogs is a good start.
Okay 438,000 seems like a lot but we're not here to judge.
This British guy, meanwhile, is a true legend: When his wife is away he doesn't carouse or even lay about watch sports, he enjoys a double dog serving with a nice bottle of seven-year-old French Pomerol:
Sure, that meal took an hour and twelve minutes off of his life, but it was clearly worth it.
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