VIENNA, THE CITY OF DREAMS.

The historic Austrian capital is full of art that has defined western civilization, and its array of water fountains is no exception.

There are the fountains outside the Schönbrunn Palace:

There's the pool outside St. Charles Church:

In fact, pretty much every park in Vienna seems to have one of these masterpieces:

But in the Year of our Lord 2023, we have finally reached the crème de la crème of artistic sophistication.

BEHOLD:

I'm not joking, ladies and gentlemen. That is Vienna's newest fountain, celebrated by Mayor Michael Ludwig, to commemorate the 150th anniversary of Vienna's spring-fed water main.

VIDEO:

The water feature consists of 33 figures and has a diameter of 7.5 meters. According to the City of Vienna, the "Vienna Water" project cost 1.8 million euros.

ALMOST TWO MILLION EUROS FOR PLAYDOUGH ART.

Here's the artists that might be the very embodiment of "weak men made hard (and ugly) times":

A sign near the fountain reads:

The fountain consists of a circle of figures that frames the basin in whose centre a water jet rises. With the shape of the fountain and the water jet, GELATIN alludes to the Hochstrahlbrunnen - a fountain in Schwarzenbergplatz. During its inauguration on 24th October 1873, the First Vienna Spring Water Main was taken into operation, which marked the beginning of modern water supply in the city. Ever since, mountain spring water has been a symbol of Vienna's liberation from water shortages and the risk of epidemics.

The people sit close to each other so that their bodies merge into a single unit keeping the water in the fountain's basin. "WirWasser" generates togetherness reminding us of the fact that it is up to everyone to appreciate and protect water.

Ah, now it makes sense.

It's woke.

When Trump said everything woke turns to poo, that wasn't a metaphor, was it??

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