Yes, this a real product. Yeah. It's a ridiculous-looking Groucho-style air filter you wear over your schnoz all day long. So that the air you breathe in through your nose is cleaner and less virus-y. Because nowadays everything is trying to kill you, remember?

Oh this next video ... vomit warning:

These things make it look like either you're recovering from a nose job or you're about to break into the Humpty Dance circa 1990. 👃

An actual clown nose.

One of the most insufferable parts about this is that they're trying to make this absurd plastic beak look like some sort of high-fashion designer accessory. It's so bad. I swear to you this is not satire ... they're from the company's Instagram account:

Just when you thought we couldn't get any softer, or more neurotic, or more hypochondriacal ... welp, I'm sorry.

Why don't we just cut to the chase and create designer hamster balls to roll around in all day so nothing can ever endanger us again, ever!