We have a winner, folks!

The following tweet came from Eliza Orlins, a NYC lawyer, a candidate for Manhattan District Attorney, and a former contestant of Survivor and The Amazing Race.

Eliza's tweet was perhaps the most complete best-hits package of woke complaints all rolled into one:

Here are all the elements contained in this one little nugget of wokeness:

• Virtue signaling the dangers of human life during the Age of Rona.
• Mentioning that you feel "unsafe" at least once.
• Noting how rAciSt something is to show you are an intersectional ally in the struggle against patriarchal white colonizers.
• Taking a shot at Orange Man Bad.
• Invoking the name of His Holiness, St. Kaepernick, who footballs the best in the land and shall be forever praised, awomen.

I will note, however, that Eliza failed to mention the lack of LGTBQ+ players, how football contributes to climate change, or the phrase "white privilege."

Do better, Eliza.

Here's how the internet celebrated her achievement:

Archeologists will likely study this for generations to come, signaling it as a prime example of what caused our civilization to crumble into dust.