I found the most Woke tweet of the Super Bowl and I feel the author deserves an award

Feb 8th

We have a winner, folks!

The following tweet came from Eliza Orlins, a NYC lawyer, a candidate for Manhattan District Attorney, and a former contestant of Survivor and The Amazing Race.

Eliza's tweet was perhaps the most complete best-hits package of woke complaints all rolled into one:

Here are all the elements contained in this one little nugget of wokeness:

  • Virtue signaling the dangers of human life during the Age of Rona.
  • Mentioning that you feel "unsafe" at least once.
  • Noting how rAciSt something is to show you are an intersectional ally in the struggle against patriarchal white colonizers.
  • Taking a shot at Orange Man Bad.
  • Invoking the name of His Holiness, St. Kaepernick, who footballs the best in the land and shall be forever praised, awomen.

I will note, however, that Eliza failed to mention the lack of LGTBQ+ players, how football contributes to climate change, or the phrase "white privilege."

Do better, Eliza.

Here's how the internet celebrated her achievement:

Archeologists will likely study this for generations to come, signaling it as a prime example of what caused our civilization to crumble into dust.


There are 91 comments on this article.

Ready to join the conversation? Start your free account today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform, completely free of charge. No credit card required.

Sign up for free
App screenshot

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.

© 2021 Not the Bee. All rights reserved.