I specifically didn't put the commas in the date in the headline because I am angry. I am angry that Daylight Savings Time is still a thing.
Daylight Savings Time is stupid and useless as teats on a boar. It is 6:00 a.m. on Sunday, March 12th, and I have risen from my slumber to tell all of you how much I hate it.
"Wow, Edward, you work for a real slave driver, making you write articles at 6 in the morning on a Sunday, sheesh," you say. No no no, incorrect, dear reader. I got up early to write articles on a Sunday for the love of the game – and to spite Daylight Savings Time. It will not beat me; I will beat it. I punch it in its stupid face. I will take my one less hour of sleep like a warrior, and I will say, "How about one more?" and I will laugh.
It's not even the one less hour of sleep that irks me so badly ... it's the uselessness of the whole thing, and the fact that we have to do it just because the yokels in the government say we have to.
I am far from the only one who hates DST. Two-thirds of Americans want it shot behind the ear and buried in a corn field.
The 17% who said "No, I would not," are clearly sociopaths and I would like to fight them right now. And the ones who said "Not sure" probably don't even know what it is because their moms still change their clocks for them and they don't even notice.
And listen: The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (uhh, hello, sounds like they know a thing or two about sleep) is officially in favor of abolishing DST.
Based on evidence that shows the switch to daylight saving time carries many health and accident risks and is misaligned with human circadian biology, the position of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine is that seasonal time changes should be abolished in favor of permanent standard time.
"Mounting evidence shows the dangers of seasonal time changes, which have been linked to increased medical errors, motor vehicle accidents, increased hospital admissions and other problems," said Jennifer Martin, a licensed clinical psychologist and president of the AASM. "Restoring permanent, year-round standard time is the best option for our health and well-being."
Wait, there's more.
A study in the journal Current Biology predicts that killing Daylight Savings Time could prevent 36,550 deer deaths, 33 human deaths, 2,054 human injuries and $1.19 billion in collision costs per year.
For the love of everything, why do we still abide by this abomination?
If government won't act in the best interest of its people, we need to rise up and just stop obeying the draconian dictate that is Daylight Savings Time.
OK, I am off to bong some more coffee. I hope you have a lovely day.