If members of the LGBTQ+ community are ever to reach true equity with the heteronormative cis-gender crowd, they're just going to have to deal with adult onset diabetes like the rest of us.
There is in fact a cruel irony here. Maybe not irony, maybe just tone deafness.
Contrary to the stereotype of the gay man being super buff and hitting the gym twice a day, LGBTQ+ people as a group suffer from higher rates of obesity than other groups, particularly the younger ones (the presumed target group of this sugary concoction).
It would not be unlike Jack Daniel's coming out with a limited edition bourbon in support of Alcoholics Anonymous.
"Here's a toast to your sobriety!"
While I was tempted to make the further argument about the morality of targeting a children's cereal at a group particularly susceptible to obesity, I realized I was kidding myself.
This cereal is not wholly targeted at children. This cereal is at least partly targeted at adults, specifically woke straight cis-gender progressives whose fading "Love Lives Here" yard signs have left them feeling empty and purposeless.
This should help fill the void:
The only thing this cereal has more of than sugar is virtue signaling. Still, my eyes could not help but be drawn to this little guy on the lower left:
At first I thought he represented tooth decay, but then I saw the leaf. It turns out he's "Bad Apple," an Apple Jacks character.
So yeah, still pretty much tooth decay.
The cereal is, of course, rainbow-colored, which makes sense given the rainbow flag has been a symbol for LGBTQ folks for some time. But there's something else.
"Our delicious new recipe features berry-flavored, rainbow hearts dusted with edible glitter."
Glitter? Really? And yet they somehow left out the feather boas?
Can you imagine if Kellogg's came out with a cereal to support BLM that included stereotypical tropes and symbols that racists would associate with black people? (I'll let you use your imagination on that one.)
I have lived in major metropolitan areas my entire adult life and so have broad experience with various members of the alphabet soup of LGBTQ+ (primarily the L and the G) and I could count the number of people who are big on "glitter" on the fingers of one elbow.
Moving to the back of the box:
"Boxes are for cereal, not people," lectures the company that just reduced millions of Americans who have their own individual hopes and dreams and interests and opinions on Star Wars vs. Star Trek (Star Trek, of course) and then reduces them all down to an LGBTQ+ virtue-signaling marketing campaign their corporate communications department can now check off.
On one side of the box you have your standard run down of preferred pronouns, including "they/them" which I circled in red:
That actually makes sense given that if you make this cereal a regular part of your diet people might very well start referring to you in the plural.
The blanks are so you can include other common pronouns. Given that the ultimate end consumer of this cereal is still likely to be young children, I'm thinking typical entries will be along the lines of "pony" and "Mr. Blanky."
As for nutrition, pretty much what you'd expect:
It is of course packed with sugar. That's 12 grams in just 130 calories. Froot Loops in comparison has 12 grams of sugar in 150 calories.
It has very little protein, which is standard for these kinds of cereals and not much else... with one important exception:
Fiber. Five grams is impressive for such a small serving.
That brings me back to the possibility that Kellogg's is definitely targeting adults, at least in part, with this one.
Hey, talking about being "regular" is funny until you're not!
As for ingredients, it's what you'd typically find as part of a tenth grade chemistry class experiment only more dangerous:
The top of the box features yet another opportunity for an excited mother who just remembered her assigned-at-birth son once tried on her heels when he was four and so clearly identifies as a girl now and just wait until she posts this on Facebook and those likes start to pour in!
On to the cereal itself. I did in fact purchase a box because I was journalisming.
I should remind you these are supposed to be hearts, and I guess there is some resemblance assuming they were shooting for anatomical:
I have to admit, this is where you really start to appreciate the reds 40 and 3, the yellows 5 and 6, and the blue 1.
Totally worth the cancer risk:
Just look at that "edible glitter." It makes me want to listen to Gloria Gaynor.
Seriously. I like that song. Sue me.
As for the taste...
My first bite I did think for a moment that I was filling with pride but it turned out that was just gas. (Not joking.)
Look, it's pretty much what you would expect. It does have a Froot Loops thing going there but it's not nearly as good. The berry flavor is completely overwhelmed by the sugar and it has a particularly weird aftertaste.
I blame the glitter.
It holds up in milk for a bit (the sugar glaze will do that) and the texture is as expected in that I'm pretty sure I'd be looking into skin grafts for the roof of my mouth if I had to eat this every day for a week.
I had referred in the beginning to the LGBTQ+ "community" which is the terminology Kellogg's used and pretty much everyone else.
It's a fantasy.
Douglas Murray, an indispensable defender of Western civilization – who is himself gay – put it best in breaking down the fault lines. (I pull the relevant quote, which begins at 1:08, after the video.)
The Ls and the Gs never really got along ever, and then the Bs came along and they [the Gs and Ls] didn't believe the Bs quite existed. There is still a lot of doubt about that. Then the Ts come along who have absolutely nothing in common apart from also some suspicion from wider society. And the Ts morph in the space of a few decades from dressing up in the clothing of the opposite sex to full on sex changes and this happens incredibly fast. And now the Ts run against the Ls and the Gs.
The LGBT is a bloody minefield that's just one great big contradiction there, but it's much worse when you see what the T does to the women because women have spent decades fighting not to be judged according to male standards.
(He goes into great detail in his book, "The Madness of Crowds.")
I think this is where Kellogg's gets into real trouble.
By throwing in with the LGBTQ+ "community," and specifically GLAAD, they are not embracing gay rights anymore, they are instead embracing the most radical elements of the political transgender agenda including support for biological males competing against females in women's sports, sharing locker rooms and showers, and then calling anyone who disagrees a bigot.
That particular agenda ceases to be about treating everyone with kindness and respect and ensuring that we are all equal in the eyes of the law, and becomes about forcing the populace to believe in fairy tales, to support the genital mutilation of very young children in service to an extreme woke agenda, and the turning back of women's rights and progress by decades.
But I suppose if your business is peddling sugar bombs as a great way for children to start their morning, that may not be the worst thing they're doing.