Folks, I don't often say "I can't even," because I'm not a 14-year-old girl, but...for real...I can't even:

In the hours after Elon Musk completed his purchase of Twitter late Thursday, many avid users began voicing their uncertainty about the future of the platform and whether they want to remain on it. But with few obvious alternatives, Twitter users may be left with nowhere else to go. ...

"Let's go back to Tumblr. It's time," tweeted Chris Grant, group publisher of Polygon and The Verge. "I already hate this site but this feels like maybe the moment to nuke the ol' account permanently. Where do the cool kids hang out that isn't owned by [points Elon's way]."

"We really should've stuck with myspace," tweeted screenwriter Jessica Ellis.

"SAVE US FRIENDSTER," Patton Oswalt, the actor and stand-up comedian, posted on Twitter.

We should always have empathy for our fellow man. No questions there. But you can allow yourself a bit of a release. Just this one time.

Not everyone was melting down, however:

"Excited to see what you accomplish here," retired basketball star Shaquille O'Neill tweeted at Musk on Wednesday ahead of the deal closing.

Dr. Shaq, ol' Big Shamrock, as dependable as ever!