Let me break something down for you:

When a man and a woman marry each other, they're almost always investing in a set of trade-offs—maybe your husband or wife doesn't have, say, all of the physical attributes you might write down on a wish list if you were pressed to do so, but nevertheless you want to spend the rest of your life with them because you love them and are willing to accept them as a real person—imperfect, flawed, but a beloved child of God, multifaceted, fully human, fully alive.

If you're shopping around for a surrogate, on the other hand, it's a bit more... well... dollars and cents.

We wanted her to have lovely eyes. I wanted her to have really thick hair, because I've had two hair transplants. I wanted her to have a really wide, nice smile, and just look like a kind person. And we wanted her to be creative, because we love the arts.

I'm sorry, but this is just gross.

I mean, look, all of those qualities are perfectly fine things to desire in, you know, a spouse. What man wouldn't want his wife to have "lovely eyes," beautiful hair, and a "nice smile?" All of that is great.

But when you reduce those characteristics to a mere checklist for a transactional arrangement like surrogacy, it gets real creepy really fast.

Put another way:

• If a man said he wanted those qualities in his future wife, that would be fine.
• But if a man said he wanted those qualities in his future wife solely because he wished her to bear his children and pass on those qualities to them... well, you'd be rather creeped out. And rightfully so!

This sort of surrogacy is deeply inappropriate and weird. And it will never not be those things.

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