Does anyone take Slate seriously these days? Did anyone ever? Honest questions.

Because their advice columns are starting to make me nervous.

Look at this:

Yeah, sure.. he's being unreasonable. Got it.

You know, I don't think a marriage really counts as a marriage if it's an open relationship. Or at least it shouldn't. How in the world am I to devote my entire being to a woman's happiness if I mean to sleep with other women? And why in the world would I allow my wife to sleep with other men? This would make me the exact opposite of happy. I'd be extremely upset.

But here we are in 2022, and Slate is covering this as if open marriages are what all the cool kids are doing.

Here's (most of) the reader's question to Slate:

Dear How to Do It,

I was raised in a very religious home where sex and dating were completely taboo. I "saved myself" for marriage. My personal beliefs don't align with this, but I thought I had no choice.

After a decade of marriage and hating sex, I asked my husband if I could explore sexual experiences and experiment with other people if the chance arose. He enthusiastically agreed, but said he didn't want to hear details. A few months later, he said he did want to hear all the details. A while after that, he said he didn't want me to do it. He keeps changing his answer.

Interesting...

It seems at first your husband was okay with this. He wasn't, of course, which is why he didn't want to hear the details. Then, as the mind tends to do, he thought about it, and made things up in his head, which is why he wanted to hear about your experience. He was jealous. And of course he was jealous. He's your husband! You're supposed to be married.

And when you're married you don't open up the marriage and allow your spouse to cheat on you.

I'm sorry to say it, but if it comes to this point you probably just need to split up. Sure, go ahead and talk some things through and maybe it'll work out, but judging by what I've read above it's time to move on.

Yet, and you may want to brace yourself, here's Slate's advice:

A reasonable solution for him, since he refuses to have sex with other partners, would be to develop a robust masturbation routine. Does he have one?

It sounds like your situation has gone completely off the rails. I'm wondering if your husband was raised in a similarly sexually repressed environment, and if some of his behavior is coming from the internalized idea that all couples should be a closed pair. It's also possible that he wants to be open and for you to have the opportunity to explore, but is so deeply, naturally monogamous that he's incapable and his feelings are exploding in awful ways.

Yeah, I'm not touching that.

This is literally the worst marriage advice I've ever come across.

These people are married—MARRIED!—and you want the husband to start a "robust masturbation routine"?!?

That sounds like one of those terribly unfunny Onion headlines. Like, "Husband Develops Robust Masturbation Routine Because He's Too Much Of A Wimp To Participate In Open Marriage."

79 retweets, easy.

We truly live in two separate realities in this country. Because people on the left will actually read this Slate advice column and think it's meaningful. But it's for the people in the middle that I provide this story. You need to see where the culture is headed. And Slate gives us a little glimpse into the leftist utopia our future holds. It's not pretty.

I will say, I'm glad Slate slipped this part in there at least:

If you want to preserve the marriage, a couples counselor is top priority.

And hopefully they find a marriage counselor willing to speak the truth.

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