Sixty-four-year-old Kentuckian Clifton Williams is being charged with second-degree assault after allegedly shooting his roommate in the buttocks for eating the last Hot Pocket.
According to the police, Williams began throwing tiles at his roommate over the Hot Pocket fiasco, and when the roommate fled outside, Williams grabbed his gun, followed him outside, and shot him in the backside as he was walking away.
Now there are a few issues here right off the bat. To begin with, this is a 64-year-old man with a roommate and no clear agreement on who buys the groceries, which is obviously a conflict waiting to happen.
Secondly, who even eats Hot Pockets? Someone, please buy this man a real calzone or a pizza or something actually worth having a gunfight over.
Thirdly, check out this mugshot:
He does not look at all remorseful, but he actually looks pretty nice, so maybe he's innocent (or felt justified). He did plead not guilty, but I guess that's for the judge and jury to determine.
Good luck to Williams. Maybe he'll get to eat a real pizza in prison.