I ate bowls and bowls of limited edition Easter cereals so you don't have to (more for me, suckers!)
· Apr 7, 2023 · NottheBee.com

I could not pass these up. I mean, technically I suppose I could have, depending on your interpretation of Thomas Aquinas's liberum arbitrium and the compatibilist view of intellectual determinism as it relates to… Hey, look, bunnies!

Let's start with the Reese's Puffs Bunnies, because, generally speaking, if your starting point for breakfast is a candy bar, you're probably doing it wrong.

It's comparable to other sugary cereals, but I figure as long as you are gong to eat Reese's Peanut Butter cup cereal, you might as well consider how it stacks up to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Let's adjust that for calories so it's a straight comparison.

Umm, I'm going to call this a toss up and move on.

One thing the Puff Bunnies do have going for it is the ingredient list.

Okay, so it's not exactly "clean eating," but as this category goes, it's a borderline health cereal.

The cereal itself consists of chocolate and peanut butter bunnies.

To my surprise, the different colors might actually have a different taste. It's subtle, but I think it's there. That, or my mind is playing tricks on me, like that time I thought an attractive woman was checking me out. I could tell she was interested because she kept asking me questions and feeling my forehead.

Okay, she was a nurse.

And, yes, she was really just checking my temperature.

Okay, fine, and I was in Urgent Care. Happy now?

Regardless, there was something awfully familiar about these little bunnies.

Wait a second...

They look exactly like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cereal!

As I pointed out at the time:

Okay, so I'm getting a long-haired terrier, a rabbit, a fish, an airliner, and a golf bag.

These are not reindeer. They are not bunnies. They are some species-androgynous all-purpose mammalish shape easily repurposed for a variety of tasks thus saving retooling costs.

Really looking forward to the Limited Edition Eid al-Fitr cereal "now with miniature Mohameds!"

At least the ensuing riots will be entertaining.

What about the overall taste?

They were not excessively sweet and had a genuine chocolate peanut butter taste. A bit generic, perhaps, it could pretty much be any chocolate peanut butter concoction, but pleasant enough.

Before we move on to the Peeps, we must not forget that this is a breakfast cereal intended for children, thus the obligatory hellscape on the back of the box.

Yep, that's tonight's nightmare.

Next up, Peeps!

I'd love to the meet the person who first came up with the idea that marshmallows would make for a good meal and ask him why he stopped there. Why aren't there lunch sandwiches made out of chocolate bars and Twizzlers? Why aren't there dinner entrées of Skittles and Snickers?

I mean, besides at my house.

My wife was the one who first came across the Peeps while grocery shopping with my son.

Actual conversation:

Wife: We saw Peeps cereal in the store.

Me: Great, where is it?

Wive: We didn't get it.

Me: What do you mean you didn't get it?

Wife: We didn't know if you wanted it.

Me: I've bought every garbage cereal I could find in the last year. Why wouldn't I want it? I get paid for this!

I wish I could adequately convey the look she gave me, a kind of mixture of pity and disdain.

I think it was the pity part that got her to buy the cereal on her next trip.

Permit me to bottom line this for you:

First, it's a sugary cereal, a bit more so than others.

Second, it came out of a beaker as much as a farm.

Now that we've got that out of the way, on to the cereal itself.

The marshmallow shapes consist of the two basic Peeps, profile and head-on.

Let's just say there was a reason Michelangelo didn't sculpt in marshmallow.

Good news for those of you who prefer to eat your Peeps after they've become stale. These are ready to go right out of the box!

The bad news? You're a psychopath.

As for the overall cereal:

Picture Froot Loops with marshmallows, and you have Peeps cereal.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing, in fact it's kind of good, in that total sugar rush kind of way. It's something a seven-year old would concoct when left to pull together breakfast for himself.

Froot Loops and Lucky Charms? Sure! Let's add a Cap'n Crunch garnish and some maple syrup and call it done!

So, yes, I will enjoy these, every nutritionally horrid spoonful.

These are two very different cereals, of course, so I could not choose one or the other. If you are a huge chocolate and peanut butter fan, go for the Reese's. Have a large sugar tooth? Peeps are the way to go.

Have half a brain in your head? Neither!

Oh well!

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