Walking is no longer considered an essential activity unless you are engaging in the type of walking His Majesty Eric Garcetti in his infinite wisdom deems worthy.

I'd like to say I am exaggerating for comic effect, but I'm not that imaginative. According to the order,

"All travel, including, without limitation, travel on foot, bicycle, scooter, motorcycle, automobile, or public transit is prohibited, subject to the exceptions in Paragraph V"

And if you're thinking what I'm thinking, no, I don't believe there are any loopholes for sauntering, strolling, skipping, or rambling.

The ban on walking is part of a "Safer At Home Order" that essentially requires you to stay in your house until further notice.

There are a number of exceptions, such as for healthcare facilities, however, one of the most effective things you can do for your health is not considered healthcare.

"Healthcare operations does not include fitness and exercise gyms and similar facilities."

Those have limited capacity and cannot operate indoors. What can operate indoors? Liquor stores.

"Grocery stores, water retailers, farm and produce stands, supermarkets, convenience stores, warehouse stores, food banks, and other establishments engaged in the retail sale of canned food, dry goods, fresh fruits and vegetables, pet food and medication supply, fresh or frozen meats, fish, and poultry, and other household consumer products necessary to maintain the safety, sanitation and essential operation of residences. This includes stores that sell beer, wine, and liquor."

I'm all for beer, wine, and liquor, well, beer and liquor anyway, but we gloss over this too often. This is what they are saying, this is "the science" we are told we must follow:

Beer, wine, and liquor, according to the mayor of Los Angeles, are necessary to maintain the safety, sanitation, and essential operation of residences.

I swear they are just playing with us now. That, or they want to keep us too drunk and fat to pay attention.

Speaking of which, you know what else is considered an essential activity?

"film and television production,"

You are permitted, no, encouraged, to sit at home in your chair, drunk watching Netflix.

I'm sensing a pattern.

Other exemptions include the people who report on the mayor's actions.

"Newspapers, television news, radio, magazine, podcast and journalism;"

Keep them in the fold, make sure they are still working so as to insulate them from the pain.

Stay home, they scold, as they continue to receive their paychecks and feed their families.

Let's sum up the science.

Community-wide lockdowns don't work.

We've known this for months.

We also know exactly who is the most vulnerable.

Twice the number of people die in motor vehicle accidents than have died of Covid below the age of 55.

And yet we mysteriously did not surrender our liberties over that.

And of those people below 55, the number who died who did not have pre-existing conditions is negligible.

And yet let's continue to whip up hysteria, get people losing any perspective or capacity for critical thinking.

But whatever you do, don't go for a walk.