But mostly please stop telling her staff "to shove sharpies in uncomfortable places."

I think the first question on everybody's mind is pretty obvious.

Cap on or off?

Also, why would this be a thing?

"A number of President Trump supporters have bought into a conspiracy theory that ballots filled out with a Sharpie marker wouldn't be counted because of the ink."

Apparently, staff members in some locations were handing out Sharpies to mark ballots.

Fortunately, that's not a problem according to the Michigan Department of State which tweeted out a fact check noting that while Sharpie abuse will not be tolerated, such abuse does not invalidate a ballot. That is why they use Sharpies instead of off-brands which according to rigorous and repeated testing are much more susceptible to damage when shoved in uncomfortable places.

I may be paraphrasing that a bit:

Or is that just what they want us to believe?!?!

Allow me to introduce you to "Sharpiegate."

No, really, I didn't make that part up.

Sharpiegate apparently originated in Arizona and has since spread east like a rocket-propelled Trump caravan all the way to New York.

Does he know where that Sharpie's been?

Just asking.

I did check the Sharpie website and surprisingly enough, while their FAQ page addressed a number of rather obscure questions like, "How many colors do Sharpie markers come in?" there did not appear to be any of the more obvious ones like, "Can Sharpies be used to facilitate nationwide election fraud," and "What is the maximum amount of time a Sharpie can remain in an uncomfortable place before irreparable damage occurs?"

To the Sharpie.

Despite everything that has happened this year I have to admit, a part of me is going to miss 2020.

(Special thanks to @austinh for the topic. Social thread here.)