13 Years ago, The Uncharted Zone, a public access TV show based in Florida suddenly entered the charted zone when they uploaded an original music video by local musician, Mark Gormley:
The video has since reached over 2.5 million views, and it's no wonder why! The absolutely comical editing, arbitrary use of stock footage, and "special effects" alone make this entertaining, in a train wreck kind of way. But once you get past all that, there's something deeper that keeps me watching... and thankfully The Uncharted Zone has not left me wanting, as they uploaded several more Gormley originals shortly thereafter, with the same retro 70's music and a psychedelic approach to video editing that would make even Cheech and Chong put down their blunts.
While "Little Wings" may have made him viral, it was really just setting the stage for what I truly believe was Mark's magnum opus, "Without You," which currently has more than 4.3 million views:
Literally everything about the "Without You" music video is perfect.
There's "space happy" Phil Thomas Katt's introductory hype about how "intense" this music video is:
The randomly-inserted images that were clearly ripped off of Google:
The bored model who appears intermittently, never actually interacting with Mark in any way (and randomly waves at strangers in her swimsuit):
The confusing ripple effects:
The random animation of a lunar lander:
The camera man's apparent case of vertigo when filming in front of a green screen:
But really, the thing that keeps me coming back to these videos, the thing that really demonstrates what an absolute Boss Mark Gormley is...
That rock star power stance:
What, you go to the beach in shorts or a swimsuit? Mark Gormley comes fully dressed in his business casual polo and dad jeans, but always ready for action with his clean white sneakers. Cause Mark Gormley don't care.
You might be tempted to write it off as awkwardness or camera shyness. But I see it as the ultimate doesn't-give-two-rat-turds posturing:
Oooh, you think it's dangerous to stand on a box between two moving trains? Not Mark Gormley. Mark Gormley don't care!
Other musicians might feel the need to exaggerate and hype up their music with gimmicks like jumping, leaping, or thrashing, but not Mark Gormley. He is so confident that his music stands on its own, that he doesn't need to dress it up with showmanship. And if that's not the ultimate B.A. alpha move of all time, I don't know what is:
Mark Gormley just don't care!
Gormley's conspicuous aloofness is his trademark. In many ways, it's the anti-gimmick; an answer to Dolly Parton's wig, Sia's ...also wig, or My Chemical Romance's inability to update their style since 2003. Mark Gormley's gimmick is to have no gimmick, no style, no pretense. It's just him and his mustache, doing his thing, and you can take it or leave it.
And to prove that he don't care, he's turned down countless interviews and opportunities for fame and fortune, including declining an offer to be on Jimmy Kimmel! Mark is one of those reclusive geniuses, preferring his privacy and quiet life over glamour (I know there's not supposed to be a u in that word but it's more glamourous when you add it).
But fear not, if you can't get those catchy 70's jingles out of your head, you can purchase his full album on the Uncharted Zone website, along with other officially(?) licensed merchandise!
Oh, so you think official t-shirts should have print-quality images on them? You guessed it: Mark Gormley don't care!