Nothing to see here, just our friends to the north trying to suspend liberty and turn the entire province of Ontario into the world's biggest, if most polite, prison camp.
The new orders, which carry a $750 fine for a first offence, effectively confine Ontario's 14 million people to their home, save for a handful of permitted activities
Who gets to decide which activities are permitted?
It's easy to figure out by using the process of elimination.
There, that was easy!
In order to effectuate the order, authorities are hoping to turn their police force into a kind of hybrid of prison guards and parole officers.
"Moving forward, police will have the authority to require any individual who is not in a place of residence to, first, provide their purpose for not being at home, and provide their home address," said Ontario Solicitor General Sylvia Jones in a livestreamed Friday news conference. She added, "police will also have the authority to stop a vehicle to inquire about an individual's reason for leaving their residence."
As I understand it, "because I want to," is NOT currently considered a valid enough of a reason.
We know from very early on that possibly the safest place for you to be is outside.
So it's just common sense that that would be prohibited.
During the press conference today, the government of Ontario announced strict new measures which include new provincial police powers, all outdoor gatherings with people outside your household will be banned, playgrounds closed, nearly all outdoor recreational activities to be restricted,...
Governor Whitmer must be SO jealous!
You should also take special care not to die for a while. Or get married. Or really go to church for any reason at all.
...places of worship, funerals and weddings will have a capacity limit of 10 people,...
If you want to build anything, it needs to be "essential" and no, you don't get to decide what is essential. (Hint: Whatever you are doing, it isn't.)
...non-essential construction will be halted,...
And of course, they are closing the borders.
With the rest of Canada.
...border-checks will be introduced at the Quebec and Manitoba borders,...
It is not clear if unaccompanied minors are considered an exception, but you might want to prepare yourself for viral videos of Manitoba residents flinging their kids across the border in a desperate gambit for a better life and maybe to visit grandma.
The extreme lockdown provisions are absolutely necessary given the surge of cases Ontario is experiencing under its current severe lockdown.
When something isn't working, it's always best to just do it harder, like that time you tried to fix a water pipe by hitting it with a hammer, and when that didn't work you just got a bigger hammer and hit it harder.
It's like that, only there's no plumber to call to clean up your mess.
It is not entirely clear why Ontario seems so intent on following in the examples of New York, Pennsylvania, and Michigan.
Maybe something got lost in translation.
While it seems like a good plan, Ontario might be missing two key components of a successful police state.
...and the state.
It helps to have a non-compliant populace to insist that the state answer to them, so maybe there is some hope after all.
P.S. Now take a brain break and enjoy our viral video "How to speak Bidenese" 👇