This story has the entire California package: A breakaway loony republic, crime, an apparently ineffective police force, you name it:
The 'micronation' of Slowjamastan, located in Southern California, is offering a $1,000 cash reward to anyone who can help bring to justice a group of fathers and their children who allegedly burglarized and vandalized their property.
Me when I heard about the "micronation" of 'Slowjamastan:"
Well, according to its website, the "United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan" is "an enclave completely surrounded by American territory." It was founded in 2021 in California's Imperial County on an empty stretch of desert.
It identifies itself as a "micronation," which is defined as "a political entity whose representatives claim that they belong to an independent nation or sovereign state, but which lacks legal recognition by any sovereign state."
So basically a micronation is founded and the rest of the world is like:
But give them credit, Slowjamastan is really trying! Its leaders say they are running the pseudo-state as a dictatorship, it's completely tax-free, and it has a process for becoming a citizen, if that's what you want to do.
And now, apparently, it has become the victim of international aggression:
According to a release from the Republic of Slowjamastan - situated three miles south of Imperial County near the San Diego County community of Ocotillo Wells - two dads brought their young kids to the area to 'commit multiple crimes.'
In the full video included in the Slowjamastan release and posted to YouTube, the timestamp of which indicates the incident began around 7:10 p.m. on Dec. 14 and lasted roughly an hour, at least two men and three children are seen and heard moving around the property's 'border' gate.
That's right: Two creeper grown men apparently brought their kids to commit a weird, inexplicable act of theft and vandalism in the middle of the desert:
The group pried open the door of the guardhouse on the property, after which they took numerous objects including "a mannequin, signs and boxes." Several of the children expressed fear over the crime, but one of the adults urged them on.
The group also apparently spraypainted a declaration of war against the country:
The total loss associated with the crime appears to be somewhat minimal, though the "Sultan of Slowjamastan," Randy Williams, identified the more alarming factor:
It's not the damage that upsets us as much as it is that there's a guy bringing his young kids to join in on the crime. Even the kids are saying, 'Dad, it's not a good idea,' yet the reckless adult male coerces the children to break the law. You feel the worst for the kids in this situation. We hope he is caught and someone can intervene before it's too late for those poor kids. They deserve better.
Slowjamastan reportedly has around 19,000 "citizens."
C'mon, California: Help out a neighboring country and solve this crime!
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