In news today other than the imploding sociopolitical landscape of America, scientists have announced they've discovered large blasts of radio energy originating from within the Milky Way.

Scientists have recorded these massive "fast radio busts" before, but they've always come from galaxies far, far away. The theory is that they emanate from "magnetars," or stars with extremely powerful magnetic fields. The radio burst in our own galaxy was detected in April and published in several scientific papers.

While experts are still speculating about the origins and causes of this phenomena, we at Not The Bee want to remind you that this is the year 2020 and all bets on logic and reason are off.

I mean, wouldn't the day after an insane election in an insane year be the perfect day to announce we've discovered alien life?

As we discussed the imminent reality of first contact, we came up with our own speculations as to what this radio burst could truly be:

• Aliens beaming in their last-minute mail-in ballots for Joe Biden
• Leftist shrieks from the 2016 election finally echoing back from the heavens
• A clear sign of the the end of days, as outlined recently by Pat Robertson
• A new strain of Space 'Rona sent by evil conservative aliens to wipe out all BIPOC and LGBTTQQIAAP+ individuals
• The destruction of a planet-killing superweapon at the hands of rebel starfighters
• The very galaxy itself crying out in terror at the thought of a Harris administration

I think we can agree on at least one thing: if it is aliens, hopefully they're hostile.

(Good riddance, 2020!)