Man, they really are serious about their beef in Texas:
Hear me out: I say we charge this lady with two years on a vegan diet.
🤣🤣🤣
Hey, it might work!
Anyhow, where were we?
Oh yeah.
A woman wanted for numerous felony warrants involving theft of fajita at various local meat markets has been found.
Minerva San Juanita Lopez had been wanted by the Laredo Police Department and Crime Stoppers for stealing more than $1,000 in fajita.
The 47-year-old woman was facing three felony arrest warrants charging her with theft of property.
The crazy thing is, this lady only stopped at two places, a meat market and a grocery store.
It blows my mind to see how much steak she yanked from the grocery store:
In one incident, officers responded to a local H-E-B store where loss prevention employees reported that a woman took five packages of fajita without paying. The fajita was valued at $833.30.
Okay, first of all, do the math there.
From what I've gathered, flank steak goes for about $12 per pound. That means each of the five packages held about 14 pounds of raw beef — or $170 per package.
Who even orders that much beef at a time?
Well, I guess it's Texas, so why am I surprised?
Her other theft was a little less extravagant, only costing the meat market around $190, or about one Texas-sized package of steak.
In the end, it was video surveillance that was her undoing, as both security teams were able to easily identify her with help from authorities.
Here's a post Laredo PD put out before she was found:
If I'm her, I'm putting that one in the scrapbook.
Anyhow, moral of the story: If you're going to steal a thousand dollars' worth of steak, you might want to cover up your face or wear a disguise or something.
Just kidding, you'll want to just not steal. That'll do the trick!
One last thing and then I'll go.
Perhaps the alleged crime was an attempt to copycat the infamous "fajita bandit" of 2018, who literally [stole] $1.2 million in meat over the course of a 9-year-long illegal side hustle.
Yup, nothing new down there in Texas!
As for why she stole all this meat, I'd bet she was making some delicious street fajitas and selling them at a bargain price.
Hit me with your best guesses in the comments.
