"Help me Satan, you're my only hope."
Yes, that is a real headline.
BUT REALLY, I'M NOT JOKING, GUYS.
This isn't the Babylon Bee! Tell them, Karen!
Salon is known for doing insane articles to get attention, but invoking the disciples of the Prince of Darkness is a whole new level.
In fact, I'm pretty sure once you've reached "asking Satan for help," there's nowhere else to go.
The "nontheistic" organization, which is headquartered in Salem, Massachusetts, joined the legal fray this week by sending a letter to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration demanding access to abortion pills for its members. The group has established an "abortion ritual," and is attempting to use the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (which was created to allow Native Americans access to peyote for religious rituals) to argue that its members should be allowed access to abortion drugs like Misoprostol and Mifepristone for religious purposes.
Yes, they are seriously making the argument that the right to religious freedom trumps the right to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and most certainly speech, since babies would likely have something to say about being poisoned and dismembered if given the chance.
This is literally insane, but then again, we are quite literally talking about Satan.
Here's what the Satanists had to say:
Fittingly, at the time of publishing, this was seriously the number of likes on their tweet:
I swear that wasn't Photoshopped.
A few thoughts from Twitter:
I'm reminded more and more these days of Martin Luther's verse in his famous hymn:
"The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him. His rage we can endure, for lo his doom is sure. One little Word shall fell him."
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