Out, "Oh, Canada!"

In: "Oy, Canada!"

The Minister of Transport, the Honourable Marc Garneau, is requiring that, effective January 7, 2021, at 12:01 a.m. EST, all air passengers five years of age or older will be required to test negative for COVID-19 before travelling from another country to Canada.

Then this little bit of passive-aggressive defensiveness was added:

This implementation date provides all airlines, both foreign and domestic, adequate time to comply with the new requirements.

If you provided adequate time, you wouldn't need to announce that you provided adequate time.

Documentation of a negative laboratory test result must be presented to the airline prior to boarding a flight to Canada. The test must be performed using a COVID-19 molecular polymerase chain reaction (or PCR) test and must be taken within 72 hours prior to the traveller's scheduled departure to Canada.

They gave the airlines 7 days to implement a plan in which they would have to establish procedures for determining if the documents are legitimate, validate ages, validate the requirement that the tests were for a "COVID-19 molecular polymerase chain reaction (or PCR) test," determine if it falls within the 72-hour window, figure out what to do with the documentation, put in place procedures and allocate personnel and space for dealing with people who don't have the required documentation, all to be done across multiple countries with different specific tests and documentation formats.

What could go wrong?

Lots of things, it turns out, such as the complications and negative incentives created by essentially deputizing airport workers in foreign countries and turning them into Canadian Covid Cops.

For example, according to Transport Minister Marc Garneau,

If airport workers agree that a traveller did not have access to testing facilities, the traveller will be allowed to board their plane to Canada but must quarantine at a federally-approved facility for 14 days.

Oh.

So, if the airport workers, who get paid by either the airport or the airlines, "agree" that's it much better for them personally not to kick someone off a revenue-generating flight, they can do that.

Sounds legit.

Those passengers will just have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival.

Conversely, if they test negative they have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival.

You have to admit, it makes for a pretty simple decision tree.

Thinking about skipping out on the quarantine? Think again.

The Government of Canada will be further increasing surveillance efforts to ensure travellers entering Canada complete the applicable mandatory 14-day quarantine period under the Quarantine Act.

Can you really have too much surveillance?

The "Quarantine Act" was passed in 2005, and provided the Canadian government with enormous powers. In fact, some of the language is very much in the spirit of a bill proposed in New York State such as including the power to mandate medical examinations. It also includes the power to designate any facility a quarantine facility, as long as it's for the public good, of course.

8 (1) Any person in charge of a place shall, at the request of the Minister, provide that place to the Minister if, in the opinion of the Minister, the temporary use of the place as a quarantine facility is necessary to protect public health.

What's good for the owner of the facility does not seem to get any consideration.

However, the owner will be compensated.

Compensation

(3) The Minister may compensate any person for the Minister's use of the place.

Correction: The owner "may" be compensated. Presumably at some rate (it's not addressed) that pleases said Minister.

As for the power to toss you into a quarantine facility if they don't like your plan?

As has been the case for months,...

They are growing quite weary of people pushing back on the usurpation of personal liberties.

...all travellers will have their quarantine plans reviewed by a government official and, if not suitable, will be required to quarantine in a federal quarantine facility. Travellers to Canada must use the ArriveCAN App or website and provide accurate contact information and their mandatory 14-day quarantine plan on or before entry.

"A government official."

Reassuring.

However, they are correct, this part is not new. They've been doing it since April. In fact, Toronto got $14 million just this past September from the central government to fund their quarantine facilities.

So, it's not like people are suddenly being detained against their will because they might have a virus.

They've been being detained against their will because they might have a virus for months!

So calm down already.

And in fairness, it's not like rows of tents are being set up in a field somewhere, these facilities are typically hotel room rentals, including at times the entire hotel.

So at least your involuntary incarceration will be a comfortable one, the better to assuage your inconvenient yearnings for freedom.

This doesn't hurt either:

Violating any instructions provided when you enter Canada is an offence under the Quarantine Act and could lead to up to six months in prison and/or $750,000 in fines.

You know what else can get you six months in jail in Canada? Criminal harassment and assault of a peace officer. But the fines aren't a tenth of what you could get for violating quarantine.

And remember, that's even after you've tested negative.

I should note that these restrictions do not apply to any other form of travel into the country.

I'm assuming this is because government officials have been told that the virus "spreads through the air," and so, you know, just extrapolated.

If this strikes you as Covid theater, I would agree, but I think it's more than that.

Since March 13, 2020, the Government of Canada has strongly advised against non-essential travel, and that travel restrictions and measures can be amended at any time as necessary for public health reasons.

They don't want you to travel, and they're going to do everything they can to make it as big a pain as possible.

Canadians who are currently travelling and returning to Canada soon should start immediately arranging for a COVID-19 test, to avoid a delay in their return to Canada. Canadians who are planning to travel abroad should consider how they will meet these requirements before departure.

Not surprising. They don't want you to leave your house.

Who needs quarantine facilities when you just turned your entire country into a hospital ward for healthy people?