FBI launches Child ID app to “electronically store photos and other vital information about your children” 😬
· Jul 6, 2022 · NottheBee.com

The government would like you to upload pictures and vital information about your children directly to them.

The FBI's website says the app is meant to be used in the case of a lost or kidnapped child.

You can show the pictures and provide physical identifiers such as height and weight to security or police officers on the spot. Using a special tab on the app, you can also quickly and easily e-mail the information to authorities with a few clicks.

This sounds appealing for safety's sake, but on the other hand, you pretty much have all those pictures on your phone already, and you can tell the officer the other vital information or email it as needed.

Why exactly do we need an app for this?

The FBI says they're not collecting or storing information if you use their app:

The FBI is not collecting or storing any photos or information that you enter in the app. All data resides solely on your mobile device unless you need to send it to authorities.

At this point, the FBI's record isn't stellar when it comes to telling the truth, and that's not a very legal disclaimer. Can they access the information whenever they want?

What else is under the hood on this thing? Is there a backdoor that lets agents recruit your kids for a plot to kidnap the Michigan governor?

My favorite part is the last sentence in the brochure: an important note, where they run out of text space and create a metaphysical question of the FBI's very existence.

Clearly, the FBI's competence is par none.

You can totally trust their newest recruits in the mobile app department to have made a great app that will totally not cause you any problems, whatsoever.

Apparently, there are other FBI apps you can download too.

  • The myFBI Dashboard
  • The FBI Physical Fitness Test
  • FBI Most Wanted
  • FBI Bank Robbers App (for apprehension–not a "how to")

Seriously though, I'm trying very hard to not be conspiratorial here, but why would anyone want the FBI to have any sort of access to their phone? Especially the current administration's FBI?

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App screenshot