At some point, Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are coming to clean up the federal government's waste, but there's one department I hope they leave alone: The Consumer Product Safety Commission.
Every holiday season they release the most ridiculous safety memes, and sure it's a waste of our taxpayer money, but at least it's an entertaining waste.
Here we are going into Thanksgiving week, and they've introduced a creepy turkey, named Trent, holding a pot while hovering over families.
Trent turkey is just like Smokey the Bear, if Smokey the Bear were a roasted turkey carcass that haunted American families' kitchens while giving out fire safety tips like
Make sure you have a working fire extinguisher, working smoke alarms, and stand by your pan! Unattended cooking is the #1 cause of home fires!
Sure it's not as catchy as "Only you can prevent forest fires," but it's a dead turkey with a pan, and that has to count for something.
Here are some other Thanksgiving favorites:
I'm not so sure about the messaging in this last Thanksgiving warning, especially the final line.
Standing by your turkey while you're frying it might not be such a good idea.
Especially considering the Safety Commission's other warnings about the turkey volcano.
And of course, since the Friday after Thanksgiving officially begins the Christmas season, regardless what stores and my wife think, there's a couple of Christmas safety warnings worth mentioning.
Which includes my favorite from this year so far:
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