The Pentagon has developed a microchip that goes under your skin and can detect Covid-19 before symptoms arise. There is also a filter that extracts the virus from your body. But don't worry at all, because this is fine.

Apr 14th

Here we go people. It's finally here!

I was wondering how long it would take for them to reveal the microchip that goes under your skin (you know, the one we've been talking about for, like, ever).

HOORAY SCIENCE!!!!!!

Now I wonder how long it's gonna be before all my liberal friends start telling me I HAVE TO GET MICROCHIPPED or I can't participate in society.

Peer pressure is so fun these days, isn't it?

Anyhow, let's take a look at this microchip thingamabob, because dystopian novels are my favorite!

Pentagon scientists working inside a secretive unit set up at the height of the Cold War have created a microchip to be inserted under the skin, which will detect COVID-19 infection, and a revolutionary filter that can remove the virus from the blood when attached to a dialysis machine.

And...

'You put it underneath your skin and what that tells you is that there are chemical reactions going on inside the body, and that signal means you are going to have symptoms tomorrow,' [retired Colonel Matt Hepburn] explained.

He said they were inspired by the struggle to stem the virus' spread onboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt, where 1,271 crew members tested positive for the coronavirus.

'It's like a "check engine" light,' said Hepburn.

So if you're one of those people who think Covid is the worst pandemic the world has ever seen, this probably seems pretty cool.

But if you're a bit of a skeptic like I am you're probably wondering, "how much longer til the internment camps?"

But, oh, look, they aren't going to use the chips to track our every move (yet).

So that's a relief!

Officials who spoke to the 60 Minutes team said the Pentagon isn't looking to track your every move.

A more detailed explanation was not given.

Retired Colonel Matt Hepburn, an army infectious disease physician leading DARPA's response to the pandemic, showed the 60 Minutes team a tissue-like gel, engineered to continuously test your blood.

And here's a little video from 60 Minutes (a longer video is buried somewhere in this article):

So excited for this, you guys! 😭


P.S. Now you should watch our latest video because isn't it time for some answers from Christian Biden supporters? 👇

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